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Slate Blackcurrant Watermelon Strawberry Orange Banana Apple Emerald Chocolate Marble


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About AlanHo

  • Rank
    Geriatric Teenager
  • Birthday 03/20/1937

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Solihull, UK

Computer Information

  • OS
    Windows 10
  • CPU
  • RAM
  • Storage Size
    4.0TB – 8.0TB
  • Graphics Card

Recent Profile Visitors

4,173 profile views
  1. AlanHo

    Two nuns go to Las Vegas

    I don't fancy yours.
  2. AlanHo

    In The Mood

    That's better than Mahler....I vaguely remember the song
  3. AlanHo

    I Have Changed

    I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist. I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist. I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe. I am totally non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business. I was christened by my parents, which now labels me as an infidel. I am retired, which makes me useless. I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary. I am proud of my heritage, which makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist. I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist. I (and most of the folks I know), acquired a fair education without student loan debts and little or no debt, which makes me some kind of an odd underachiever. I believe in the defence and protection of my country and I honour those who served in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a right wing-militant. Please help me come to terms with the new me... because I'm just not sure who the hell I am anymore! Funny ...it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! As if all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with.. Now I’m not even sure v v v v v v v v v v v which toilet to go into!
  4. AlanHo

    An epic finale

    Mansion lavendar polish was the regular one used by my mother - I used to hate the smell and still do. She was also a great fan of Cardinal polish for the front and rear concrete door step
  5. AlanHo

    What are you having for dinner today?

    Three hour 75̊ C Slow roasted topside beef with yorkies, roast spuds and veg My very very very favourite meal.
  6. AlanHo

    What are you having for dinner today?

    I had a 2 whisked friend egg sandwich on toasted Waitrose oat bread. Take two eggs, break them into a glass Pyrex jug and whisk until almost frothy I had to cover the smoke alarm to cook it. I fry it in a pan with sunflower oil. So hot it has started smoking. Pour in the egg, and cook both sides until crisp and deep golden brown. It's like a well over-done plain omelette but charred on each side. Delicious with a sprinkle of salt. The only downside is the house stinks of fried egg for a few days afterwards.
  7. AlanHo

    What are you having for dinner today?

    Haddock and king prawns in tempura batter with McCains fries and marrowfat peas.
  8. AlanHo

    Perfect Yorkshire Puddings

    Why do people buy frozen packs of Aunt Bessy's Yorkshire puddings when it is so easy to make your own. We had a roast beef lunch at some friends last Sunday and everything about the meal was lovely - except for the Yorkshire Puddings. They were flat and doughy. Our host recognised that the Y.P's were less than perfect and asked how others got on with cooking them. I took my life in my hands and explained that she had used too much flour in the mixture and not enough milk. My method is to use a crystal wine glass as a measure. I break two eggs into the glass and note on the cut glass pattern how much they fill the glass. I then pour the eggs into a mixing bowl and whisk the eggs thoroughly. Next - I take a second identical glass and fill it to the same level with sieved plain flour. I add the flour to the eggs and whisk to a smooth paste. Next - measure into one of the glasses the same, (or slightly more), semi-skimmed milk and add it to the mixing bowl gradually - whilst whisking constantly to get a thin and lump-free mixture. It will be the consistency of thin single cream Meanwhile, fill each cup in the tray almost 1/3 full with sunflower oil and preheat it in an oven heated to 220 degrees C. Now pour the YP mixture into each section almost full and quickly pop it back into into the oven to cook until the YP's are golden coloured and crisp. Do not open the oven while they are cooking. Note : I do not accept responsibility for the roof of the oven being damaged by the YP's as they rise.
  9. AlanHo

    What are you having for dinner today?

    M&S Butter Chicken curry with boiled basmati rice, popadums and mango chutney.
  10. AlanHo

    What are you having for dinner today?

    What is housing sauce - is it made of bricks
  11. AlanHo

    What are you having for dinner today?

    That would be a nightmare for me - I am allergic to mussels for some strange reason. Prawns, lobsters and crayfish are fine - it's just mussels. I am having 2 boiled eggs tonight with toast soldiers. I don't feel like eating much today.
  12. AlanHo

    Sniffer Dog Detects Underground Water Leaks

    Climb your fence with a small pillow in their mouth to drape over the spikes, then drop into your garden and spend the night pooping in your borders.
  13. AlanHo

    What are you having for dinner today?

    Baked Maris Pipers and tinned tuna with coleslaw
  14. AlanHo

    Sniffer Dog Detects Underground Water Leaks

    You can't train verminous cats to do anything But training healthy cats is quite another matter.
  15. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-46372111/denzel-the-sniffer-dog-that-detects-water-leaks

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