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Everything posted by morty

  1. Hee hee .... oh if only I knew what you guys were on about .... but as a shy laydee ..
  2. Have a wonderful Christmas andsome .... And for grumps like me who don't do Christmas there is always New Year.
  3. I love these type stories .... they make me feel quite bright and not so thick. But why a microwave? It's not as if it was plugged in ..... so why? If he trying to look like a modern smash potato man wouldn't one of those portable BBQs have done better?
  4. My local chippy was called 'Greasy Gert's'. And they were, awfully. They never tasted as nice once they put them in those polystyrene trays.
  5. I used to love those crispy bits. I remember our local supermarket selling a bag of bits off the meat slicer for 2p a bag too. Our dog had them as a treat.
  6. Sherbet fountains ... yummy .. I loved 'em. There were some funny things called milk gums. Those were the days when mum took out a pack of lard to fry chips in .. and marmite was a nourishing cheap meal with a crust of bread . Horrid stuff. And a visit to the chippy meant getting out the pickled red cabbage and piccalilli...yeh, I know piccalilli and chips, gross, but I loved it as a treat. Mums of yesteryears seemed altogether better at stretching out food to feed hungry mouths.
  7. morty


    Ugh ... I just shuddered thinking back to days as a kid when mum served it just soaked in vinegar. Come to think of it ... just about everything got steeped in vinegar. I can remember soaked sliced cucumber and onion put between two rounds of bread for a cheap meal. I did like that though. I've never ever had a pickled egg.
  8. Oh I like him, isn't he cute. Reminds me of alan or it could be andsome ...
  9. morty

    Ignore this

    See .. I know nothing. I can manage a laptop (just) but smart phones , ipads and tablets seem altogether more complicated.
  10. Monsanto creates second-generation Triffids .... Mankind battles obesity epidemic eating them.
  11. Armageddon arrived on time but resetting to GMT delayed death.
  12. I just thought I'd mention this and see if I could get a rise out of your guys. ..... I can think of a 100 hundred reasons why it makes me go Yuk! Men can be messy eaters ... I hope they provide mansize serviettes for the chaps to tuck between their legs. http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2017/11/07/paris-opens-first-nude-restaurant-for-au-naturel-diners.html
  13. morty

    Ignore this

    I wouldn't know what to do with an ipad or a tablet. Don't they just have a load of apps rather than a proper browser?
  14. I'm not fond of the firm .. but I'll wish them well as a couple.
  15. Marvin's father shot him ... I heard it on the grapevine.
  16. Oh I'm loving these ... they're very good.
  17. You rang? Fellow wart reporting back in
  18. morty

    Ignore this

    Well I was going to say to andsome that I owned a TV .... but shan't now. Or that I was going to also say .. I don't watch TV's because there's nothing on them worth watching. And, No .. before you ask I do not keep naked tranny's in my house... nor old radios.
  19. Hadron collider particle accelerator exceeds expectation .... Final Transmission Earth-ISS.
  20. I'll start off with .... The diet worked well. Her snooker cue coffin fits perfectly.
  21. Shamelessly nicked the idea from elsewhere. Like it says ... tell a little story in only ten words.
  22. Ben Dover (Give me a chance to get more inventive )
  23. I wouldn't say the forum's slow though when I first click to come here it can take a bit for the index page to first land on my screen. After that I manage to snuffle about okay. I've been on plenty worse. The worst ones can lock up my computer for minutes on end.
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