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Gandalph

Gone, But Not Forgotten
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Posts posted by Gandalph

  1. I don't mind Wagner's Ride of the Valkyrie when it's played properly. In this instance, I will overlook it because you could tell they where only learners. The cleaning Lady that was polishing Albert Hall's head then burst into some sort of singing should be sacked on the grounds of "Interference with the practice session". 

  2. CARP study
    CARP- Canadian Association of Retired People

    Questions and Answers from
    CARP Forum

    Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find
    younger women who are interested in them?

    A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

    Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
    through menopause?

    A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can
    finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.

    Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
    over-70-year-old husband?

    A: Tell him you're pregnant.

    Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
    elderly wrinkles?

    A: Take off your glasses.

    Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet
    and all those wrinkles on my face?

    A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

    Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet
    parking?

    A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

    Q: Is it common for 70-plus-year-olds to have
    problems with short-term memory storage?

    A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it
    is the problem.

    Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

    A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

    Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye
    glasses?

    A: On their foreheads.

    Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus-year-olds when they enter antique stores?

    A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

    SMILE,
    You've still got your sense of humour, haven't you?

  3. A small boy has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father

    " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?"

    His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son......go and ask your mother
    if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid."

    The boy trots off and comes back saying "Dad, dad, she said she would!
    She would sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds."

    "OK son," says his dad. "Now go and ask your sister the same question."
    The boy toddles off, and comes back saying "Dad, dad, she said she would too!" 

    So then his dad says "Right, son, now go and ask your elder brother if he'd sleep
    with David Beckham for a million pounds."

    The son comes back excitedly saying "Dad! Dad! He said he would too!"

    "Well there you have it, son," said his dad.
    Theoretically we could be sitting on three million quid.
    Realistically we're living with two tarts and a poof." 

  4. 7 minutes ago, andsome said:

    I cannot understand how they arrive at their ridiculous prices

    It's the actually build of the machine andsome. I could go into detail but will be sitting here all day. There are Apple machines out there that are Twenty-five years old and still running strong. Granted they are not as upgradable (OS wise) as a modern machine due the changes in Apples programming techniques......e.g. the current Graphics is Metal. The graphics card's in the old machines won't handle it, but never the less they are stilling going on the old OS very well. 

  5. I do not recommend trying to install macOS on a Microsoft laptop. The simple reason being that the machine you are installing it onto has to have the guts to run it properly. By 'Guts" I mean the internal pieces like your graphics card has to have the capability of running 'Metal', which the Microsoft Graphics card's don't have for starters. There will be other problems too. 

     

    Installing macOS on any other machine than an Apple is against the Copyright Laws. They have DRM and the penalties are severe. 

  6. On 11/10/2017 at 1:48 PM, andsome said:

    Thanks for the tip,but I am happy with the colour,I just wish it would run faster. I am not all that up on computers science, but one or two things have occurred to me,but I may be barking up the wrong tree. I have only been back on the forum for a short time,but already have dozens of accumulated notifications,and can see no way to delete them. There are also several thousands of defunct accounts,not been used for several years. Maybe you can tell me whether deleting all the accumulated notifications,together with accounts which have not been used for a couple of years,would speed up loading. If I am wrong put it down to my ignorance.:hi:

    SIMM!

  7. Cadillac people


    A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.

    "What can I do for y'all?" asks the attendant. "Fill `er up with high test," replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before." "Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille."

    "What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant. "Well," says the driver, "it has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine."

    "Wow," says the attendant, "that's really something!" "How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver. "That'll be $30.17," says the attendant.

    The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees. "What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant. "That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver. "Wow," says the attendant, "those Cadillac people think of everything!

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