D4\/!d - Pickup on post will ya ?

[MANEMAN]

I left it a reasonable time to see if there were any other replies. (I "Hog" the forum enough as it is )

Have got to say the updated Christmas story was the funniest of posts I've seen for quite a while. I've copied it and kept it. Thank you. :)

I left London for Cornwall in 1968. Family ties have meant commuting over the years. I drove the family up a while back so that my middle Grandson could see Legoland, the museums, and visit where Grandad used to live. The only rule imposed by myself was that we have a hotel right at the end of the line in Epping. (The Bell) 'Cos I wanted to see trees, and hear birds singing when I awoke innit.

I found myself able to sit on the tube and understand perfectly the patois pidgin mix from the yoofs, whilst the rest of the family looked slightly bewildered.

60's London as a visiting TV.engineer meant being able to "Talk-the-Talk" in a growing multi-cultural society. Some of the words have changed in 40+ years but basically the rhythm is the same old "Blue Beat." with a few other cultures thrown in.

I think that you and a few others may appreciate the following illustrations:

[AlanHo]

Oooooh - that is very non-PC - I can just here the chorus of tutting.

The tar and feather brigade are heading down to Cornwall as you read this...............

[AlanHo]

Here are some stories to inject some good taste into this thread :-

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

A psychiatrist is addressing a group of people who have all had experiences with the supernatural. He asks: "Who here has seen a ghost?" Everyone puts up their hands.

He then asks: "Who here has spoken with a ghost?" Half the audience puts up their hands.

"And who here has touched a ghost?"

Ten percent of the crowd puts up their hands.

He asks: "And who here has made love with a ghost?"

One little man in the back row puts up his hand... The psychiatrist looks down from the podium at the little man and says: "Do you mean to tell me that you have made love with a ghost?"

The man replies, "Oh No! I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you correctly. I thought you said 'goat'."

A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles.

A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells her, "I love a woman that does aerobics."

The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!"

The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get your leg up so high?"

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had died, Jenny went straight to visit her grandmother. When she asked how her grandpa had died, her grandma explained, not holding back anything of course, "He had a heart attack during sex, Sunday morning!"

Horrified, Jenny suggested that bonking at the age of 94 was surely asking for trouble!

"Oh no," her grandma replied. "We had sex every Sunday morning in time with the church bells!"

"In with the dings, out with the dongs!" She paused to wipe away a tear, "If it wasn't for that damn Ice Cream Truck, he'd still be alive!!!"

[MANEMAN]

Got rid of W8 and that Grinch avatar, immediately the mood started to lift. :)

The aerobics joke is a cracker Alan.

Let's see if we can cheer up 'andsome now.