artist Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 For years and years they told me,Be careful of your breasts.Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,And give them monthly tests.So I heeded all their warnings,And protected them by law.Guarded them very carefully,And I always wore my bra.After 30 years of astute care,My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,Said I should get a Mammogram,"O.K.," I said, "let's do it.""Stand up here real close" she said,(She got my boob in line),"And tell me when it hurts," she said,"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."She stepped upon a pedal.I could not believe my eyes!A plastic plate came slamming down,My hooter's in a vise!My skin was stretched and mangled,From underneath my chin.My poor boob was being squashed,To Swedish Pancake thin.Excruciating pain I felt,Within it's vise-like grip.A prisoner in this vicious thing,My poor defenseless tit!"Take a deep breath" she said to me,Who does she think she's kidding?!?My chest is mashed in her machineAnd woozy I am getting."There, that's good," I heard her say,(The room was slowly swaying.)"Now, let's have a go at the other one."Have mercy, I was praying.It squeezed me from both up and down,It squeezed me from both sides.I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,To HER tender little hide.Next time that they make me do this,I will request a blindfold,I have no wish to see again,My knockers getting steamrolled.If I had no problem when I came in,I surely have one now.If there had been a cyst in there,It would have gone "ker-pow"!This machine was created by a man,Of this, I have no doubt.I'd like to stick his balls in there,And see how THEY come out.Author Unknown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyhanger Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 First class. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 I'd like to stick his balls in there,And see how THEY come out.Thank you for the warning.To ignore it would be crackers.I'll never visit your machineand let it grab....any part of my anatomy :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted September 30, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 I'd like to stick his balls in there,And see how THEY come out.Thank you for the warning.To ignore it would be crackers.I'll never visit your machineand let it grab my knackers. :D :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nellie2 Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 I have never had one of those yet and I'm not sure I want to :huh: I would prefer mine to stay in the mainly round shape that they are rather than being squashed flat!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 I would prefer mine to stay in the mainly round shape that they are rather than being squashed flat!!!Yes, I can see the logic in that :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bvw Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 On a serious note for a minute, my wife's been having the mammogram test for the last 12 years now.Recently three of her friends have had breast cancer, two have had a breast removed and one has died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted September 30, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 On a serious note for a minute, my wife's been having the mammogram test for the last 12 years now.Recently three of her friends have had breast cancer, two have had a breast removed and one has died.They are good - up to a point! (no pun intended)They only check the squishy bit - not the top of the breasts. Cancer can go there too, you know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 They never hurt when I squeeze 'em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted October 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 They never hurt when I squeeze 'emYou are getting BADDER!!!! :P You are supposed to set a good example! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 DON'T STARE AT THEM....TOUCH THEM! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted October 3, 2003 Report Share Posted October 3, 2003 They never hurt when I squeeze 'emYou are getting BADDER!!!! :P You are supposed to set a good example! :( I have been called a dirty old man from time to time. I don't mind that, it shows that the old dog still has plenty of life in him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
don't ask Posted October 3, 2003 Report Share Posted October 3, 2003 Thanks Artist .. that ode certainly raised a giggle on the Breast Cancer Forum I frequent .... someone submitted it a short while ago :lol: It certainly made me laugh loads :lol: :lol: :lol: P.S. Don't forget it is Breast Cancer Awareness month folks - wear your ribbon with pride - I certainly do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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