Jump to content

Come on fellows, let's lay off!!


Guest Drovers Dog
 Share

Recommended Posts

What's in Your Ear

There were two old fellows who were chatting. Suddenly one of them asked, "What in the world is that sticking out of your right ear?" The other, with a puzzled look, said, "I don't know", and reached up pulling out the object, then exclaimed, "My word, a suppository!" Then he slapped his forehead and excitedly declared, "Now I know what I did with my hearing aid."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you Remember

This old couple's sitting on their front porch rocking one morning, she says to him, "Do you remember what we were doing 50 years ago this morning?" "Yes," he replies, "We was eating breakfast in the nude." "That's right," she says, "Lets do it again and see if we can re-kindle some of those old feelings?" "OK, "he agrees.

Later, as they were eating, she says "Pa. I think it's working. My tits are as warm for you now as they ever were." "Well, they ought to be," he says. "You got one tit hanging in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Birth Control Pills

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two demented old pensioners were sitting in a conservatory having a farting competition when one of them trumped so vigorously that he flew off his bench and through the glass.

Moral: People that live in glass houses shouldn't break wind. :D

Edit. None. I've stricken myself dumb. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Drovers Dog

:P

Years ago, my Grand Parents were celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary, and during the Speech making, my Grand Father was asked for the secret of their peaceful life!

This is what he said!

"When we got married, we drove back to the Farm on the old Sulky, and about a mile out of Town, the old horse stumbled. I said THAT IS ONE! Another mile down the road, the old horse stumbled again. I said THAT IS TWO! Just as we got to the Farm House, the old horse stumbled again. I said THAT IS THREE! Pulled out my Rifle and shot the darned thing! My new Bride proceeded to abuse me tooth and nail, I listened quitely until she stopped to get her breath back, then said THAT IS ONE!"

:censored: :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Privacy Policy