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To my Valentine


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You go about your business

So blissfully unaware

Of this hot and passionate woman

Who can only dribble and stare.

Your funny little grin

And your cocky sort of walk

The expressions on your face

And the husky way you talk.

The way you eat your fish 'n chips

Those jumpers that you wear

The way you scratch your navel

Oh God! I'm in despair!

You're really quite frustrating

'cause you just miss all the signs

The excuses I've made to talk to you

It happens all the time.

I've bought a wretched play station

In your grotty pub I wait

I've even gone to Man. United

And seen bands I really hate.

I've bought so many pints this year

Concert tickets they weren't cheap

Football matches cost a fortune

The Play Station made me weep

So what am I to do now?

I breathe a heavy sigh

I'm at a loss quite frankly

As to how to catch your eye.

Now I know you like a buxom girl

With a fuller sort of figure

And a round and cosy cleavage

So this has been my trigger.

So when I next set eyes on you

You'd better damn well see

That I've spent 4 grand on my mammary glands

Now please will you go out with me!

( by Helen Bennett)

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