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Ugly Cars?


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oi the fiat panda was an amazing little car and by all accounts still is. The new one is very well built and I wouldn't say no to one if offered it. My first car was a Fiat Panda with a very fine double canvas sunroof. Someone tried to break into it once - they damaged all 3 locks but didn't get in. Quite why they didn't just put their hand under the edge of the roof and pull up the door lock is beyond me. It refused to break down even when abused to the nth degree. The beauty of that car was hiden and only discovered by those who drove it!!!

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Like many other people, you may have asked yourself: Why are new cars so ugly these days? It turns out there is a simple answer to this question: Because they were designed that way on purpose.

That's right. The design departments at the large car manufacturers have now been taken over by pre-pubescent kids weaned on Pokemon. The ugliness you see all around you on the roads now is the result of new design principles that are sweeping the industry.

These principles were first embraced by Fiat, Toyota and Nissan. At first, they were kept hidden from the outside world, giving them an advantage over their competitors in the rapidly expanding ugly car market. But now that all manufacturers (with some German exceptions) have reverse-engineered these principles through imitation, they have made them public. In fact, this new openness and candor is an important part of current ad campaigns, which tout ugliness as a desirable feature of a car.

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Now then, if you really want ugly....

I built this from the ground up (incl. box section chassis, susp. and grp body) about twelve years ago. I ran it for five years and then sold it to a chap who wanted to tour France in it (well they are not all locked up are they?) It is still running about but even uglier still now, because it is painted "light" black.

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Now then, if you really want ugly....

I built this from the ground up (incl. box section chassis, susp. and grp body) about twelve years ago. I ran it for five years and then sold it to a chap who wanted to tour France in it (well they are not all locked up are they?) It is still running about but even uglier still now, because it is painted "light" black.

Bloody 'ell - you've won by a country mile.

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Over a long misspent period (starting in the early 50s with a 3 wheel Morgan) I had tinkered and rebuilt worn out tired cars for myself, wife and the kids and I had wondered if I could build something from "scratch" without drawings/plans/workshop manuals etc. Along the way I had built a mini, starting out from a new bodyshell (my wife ran that for 10 years with no bother at all), but I just wondered if a building a complete vehicle was possible. It was more of an experiment really, because at the time I was running a new BMW 318i auto and my wife had a Subaru estate. The reason for the shape is a long story.

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Far from it. I have a history of mechanical madness, stretching back to Olde Englyshe Morturycycles, though Olde Englyshe Motorcars, through the Go Karting of the sixties and only a fortnight ago gave away to my two nephews my last remaing motor bikes, (BMW R100RT and R80). I must admit to feeling a loss though, because I have been itching for a ride these last few days, despite the fact that my leg ulcers have not let me out this year. :)

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