An Ode for Oldies

[AlanHo]

There is nothing really the matter with me

I'm as healthy, as healthy can be.

I've got arthritis in both my knees

And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

My pulse is weak and my blood is thin

My memory is failing, my head's in a spin

Sleep is denied me, night after night

But every morning, I find I'm alright.

The moral of this, as my tale I unfold

That for you and me, who are growing old

It's better to say, "I am fine" with a grin

Than to let folks know the shape we are in.

How do I know that my youth has been spent?

Because my 'get-up-and-go' has got up and went

But I don't really mind, when 1 think with a grin

Of all the grand places my get-up has been.

Old age is golden, I have heard it said

But sometimes I wonder, as I get into bed

With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in a cup

And my eyes on the table, until I wake up.

My eyelids closing, as I keep counting sheep

Their baas and wooly jumps, lull me to sleep.

As sleep overtakes me, I say to myself

"Is there anything else I can lay on the shelf?"

When I was young, my slippers were red

I could kick my heels right over my head.

Now I am old, my slippers are black

I walk to the store, and puff all the way back.

I get up each morning, and dust off my wits

And pick up the paper to read the 'obits'.

If my name isn't in there, I know I'm not dead

So I have a good breakfast, and go back to Bed.

[catgate]

I can empathise with that.

Each year we recieve on or two less cards and each year we wonder if any of those we have sent will not get read.

And each year a one or two recipients have got new knees, hips, shoulders, teeth and this year one less kidney. We shall be sending cards to heaps of mechanical devices before too long I suppose.

[andsome]

I am still in tip top condition.

[Dencandy]

And I've just received a bloody great pension application form (or booklet) to fill in. Now where did I put my glasses...

[andsome]

And I've just received a bloody great pension application form (or booklet) to fill in. Now where did I put my glasses...

Borrow mine and get it filled in.