How Natural Selection Works

[AlanHo]

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

The results of this in-depth epidemiological study verifies and validates the causal link between drunken parties and intellectual performance. It also explains why, a few short years after getting married, most men cannot keep up with the performance of the young, single studs. Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their single years.

So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge we should not shelter in our homes. Get back into the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.

Be all that you can be.

[bvw]

:D

[popeye]

AMEN. :lol:

[andsome]

I second that, as long as it's good Midlands or Northern beer, (except of course Newcastle Brown Ale), and not lager or Southern cat pee.

[doug]

And what's wrong with Newcastle Brown? There isn't a better form of electric soup to be had. :P

[Guest moon]

More recent research indicates that the body cannot dispose of dead brain cells by the usual means of assimilation . Instead, they are stored in the fatty tissues around the midrift. This gives credance to the age-old belief that drunks keep their brains in their trousers.

[AlanHo]

I bet as an old brewer - andsome will know the truth of this.

Evidence is mounting that due to the prevalent use of "the pill" over so many years - female hormones are polluting our water resources.

This is getting into the beer - in a recent experiment they fed volunteers with 12 pints of best bitter with the result that they couldn't drive and were all talking jibberish.