Do you remember

[doug]

That catchy tune used to advertise the washing-up liquid?

"Hans dat do dishes is soft on Gervais, the mild green hairy lip squid"

Keeps playing in my head today!

[andsome]

Funny head.:lol: :lol:

[AlanHo]

That is the punch line to a joke andsome would have responded to with the biggest, reddest GROAN ever.

Shall I tell you it?

Or shan't I.......................................

Oh go on.................I will :-

A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes.

"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "O.K." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!"

A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen. "Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!"

The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry.

"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.

"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show.

That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"

[andsome]

You were right.

GROAN!!!

[MANEMAN]

It's all very well to joke about things like "Fairy Liquid". But it's still on the bloody shelves ennit ?

Laugh on if y'must, you unfeeling buggers !! -

- But where are my "Spangles" my "Refreshers", The bloody great "Mars Bar" that retained & maintained a price of tuppence for aeons, and could still break your teeth without having to put it in the fridge. ?

Why dont the milkman bring milk 'round on't horse and cart no more like when I was a kid in Hertfordshire ?

"How much for Spark Plugs" ? - You're joking !!!! - They were Ten Bob, full set for bloody years ! - You've gotta be bloody joking dear !"

My Mother ! - I say - "My Mam" - Would be turnin' in her bloody grave if we hadn't have had her cremated.

I've got to go lay down. - I've had, - ........... I say - ........... I've had enough and it's only middle'et week.

What with the Partitions, and that bloke going on about the Stravinsky music,or some such poncy stuff - and all that sh**e, well - it's brought me flushes on again.

It all started to run downhill for me when Ena, Minnie Caldwell, Martha Longhurst, and Minnies cat "Bobby" started to drift away.

I cant go on. - I'm fillin' up. - I'll get back soon as I can dears.