AlanHo Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 The silly season when everyone goes nuts in a buying and spending frenzy will soon be upon us. We have already started receiving Christmas greeting cards.Since my kids grew up - I have never been a great fan of Christmas with the obligatory greetings cards, gifts, special meals, parties and all the other paraphernalia that surrounds us. Having a Christmas tree and house decorations have always been the role of my wife - frankly I wouldn't bother myself.This year will be no different - I will go along with it all so as not to spoil things for the "believers" that surround me - but I will be very glad when it is all over.My wife has already plunged into making the Christmas cakes and Christmas puddings for us and our offspring and yesterday came back from her first of several shopping sprees with an artificial Christmas tree because it was "better" than the one that has served us well for years. Frankly - I can't see much difference.This coming week-end she will spend half a day decorating the tree and getting me to install the lights - which will not work until I find the faulty bulb which is always a bloody frustrating nightmare. I will then have to fiddle with the cheapo Chinese controller to get them to operate on the desired flashing programme - which she will change her mind about several times before deciding to have them on continuously without any flashing at all.There are no prizes for guessing who will have to climb into the attic on Saturday and wade through the roof insulation to retrieve the boxes of decorations stored up there last year. I will finish up itching and sneezing for the rest of the day.She has already served notice that she wishes to be disassociated from an Email I sent out last week to family and friends stating that "we" would appreciate not receiving any cards this year because "we" will not be sending any. "Our" greeting will be via Email to those on the internet and a personal letter to those who are not. I have been left in no doubt that she expects a soppy card from me, even though she has her own computer and is able to receive an Email from me.We usually spend Christmas day on our own - in fact we usually go away (to Portugal last year) to ensure we can spend a quiet day together. This year we will be at home and accompanied on Christmas day by my wife's sister whose husband buggered off a couple of months ago and whose best friend (her dog) died recently which has left her severely traumatised. I just might condescend to pull a cracker with her to cheer her up.On boxing day (26th December) our respective offspring and their kids (age range 8 to 52) will descend on us for several hours for a family party where we all open our gifts and go round thanking and kissing each other, pretending that the gift is just what we wanted. Following this we will tuck into a buffet lunch of communal left-overs (but plenty of wine). I will then be required to entertain the group because I made the mistake some years ago of amusing them with some magic tricks - a personal and expensive hobby of many years. I have to add a couple of new tricks each year. Getting a trick that results in me doing a vanishing act is not an option unfortunately.After the gift opening ceremony and other festivities the guys will collect the mountain of wrapping paper, boxes and bags left over from all the gifts, plus all the cans, bottles and disposable cutlery and tableware - and pile it in the garage for me to dispose of when the local waste tip and recycling centre re-opens. This will probably require a couple of 8 mile round trips in a well filled car.You will no doubt have gathered that I am looking forwards to Christmas with great anticipation and hope you all enjoy it as much as me.To add to my woes - my wife is 70 in June and the family expect us to hold a party - which will replicate the events of Boxing day - so I have to live through it all over again.PSHas anyone any suggestions for a present to buy a wife that has everything?(suggestions about penicillin are uncalled for) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Has anyone any suggestions for a present to buy a wife that has everything?A box to put it all in ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Has anyone any suggestions for a present to buy a wife that has everything?A box to put it all in ?It would have to be a shipping container.............. :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MANEMAN Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Has anyone any suggestions for a present to buy a wife that has everything? As the party will be in the month of June and the weather will be temperate I suggest a suprise "Marquee Party"The expected guests will be given the task of putting up the tent thus teaching them "There is no such thing as a free lunch", and the event will take place at the recent video presentation high spot in Cumbria (32,000+ feet). You will make sure that there is an inadequate supply of sausage rolls, and have to leave quite early for the nearest village shop, - returning when it is time for all the kids to kiss "Nana" goodbye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan2273 Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Has anyone any suggestions for a present to buy a wife that has everything?Have a look here Alan.http://www.squidoo.c...r-men-and-women Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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