Tony Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 8)You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana. 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches. 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. :rolleyes: 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong. 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. 24) You never ever run out of salt. 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think. 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. 34) Bricks are horrible to carry. 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. 36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nellie2 Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.Well I've learned something........ I didn't even know there was a pint to toilet cycle!!! :teehee: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Posted November 29, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 Oh yes,The dreaded Pint to Toilet Cycle :pinch: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 Why don't they fill cisterns with beer and cut out the middle man ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-pops- Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 Why don't they fill cisterns with beer and cut out the middle man ?Don't know about that but some beers taste as though they might have come out of the toilet bowl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest northamuk Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 You can't wash your car in Germany on a Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nellie2 Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 You can't wash your car in Germany on a Sunday.I knew that!!! :lol: :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 . 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.Tut, tut! The minds of some people!! :innocent: :whistling: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurdy Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manlyTrue, so true :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manlyTrue, so true :DAaah! - sweet! :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Posted November 29, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 You can't wash your car in Germany on a Sunday.That is the car washes in the petrol garages,You can't wash your car in the street at all :angry: Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-pops- Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.This assumes that the filling is preferable to the crust (which it usually is). On that basis a triangular sandwich only has two sides of crust whereas a square cut sandwich has three. Thus there appears to be more crust on a square cut sandwich which reduces one's enjoyment :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nellie2 Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 of course this all depends on how you cut your sandwiches.If you cut your triangular sandwiches into four... like I do then you would only have one side of crust.And if you cut your square sandwiches into four then you would only have two sides of crust.If you cut them into two so that you had three sides of crust they wouldn't really be square would they... they would be sort of oblong!!!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-pops- Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 "Square cut" is an accepted phrase intended to convey a cut at right angles rather than in the form of a square with sides of equal length. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nellie2 Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 Ah.... but if you are just cutting your bread into two then you aren't cutting anything at right angles are you?? Just straight across!! :P 180degrees instead of 90 :ph34r: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest northamuk Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 A Scottish Plain Loaf is oblong and only has two crusts (which are the best part of it) so if you cut it in half to get two square pieces you only have one crust on each. The top crust is the best !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 :lol: :lol: :lol: I didn't realise a sandwich could be so involved!Next time I'm serving them up, I'll list all the options. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lester1 Posted November 30, 2003 Report Share Posted November 30, 2003 Sandwiches are better without crusts! Cut them off :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkey Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 'The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.' :innocent: me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkey Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 they are all soooooooooooo true :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy1910 Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 A Scottish Plain Loaf is oblong and only has two crusts (which are the best part of it) so if you cut it in half to get two square pieces you only have one crust on each. The top crust is the best !!have to agree with northamuk here, the top crust off a scottish plain loaf is to die for. toasted with real butter spread on it. growing up, we were told that eating the crusts were good for you, helped you to see in the dark, just like carrots lol. the top and bottom slices on this type of loaf are commonly known as healies!! lol. even now, my father and i both actually fight/wrestle over who gets the healies off the plain!!! and we dont even live in the same house lol. :thumbup: :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
don't ask Posted December 3, 2003 Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Gosh ... what would I give for a good Scottish Plain Loaf :drool: :drool: :drool: Serves me right for moving to England I s'pose :unsure: Wish I could find a supplier in our tiny town here :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurdy Posted December 3, 2003 Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Quote poppy1910'the top and bottom slices on this type of loaf are commonly known as healies!! lol.''When I was growing up the 'crust' was always called the 'heal' :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Sandwiches are better without crusts! Cut them off :DUTTER RUBBISH if you eat real bread. If you buy wrapped and sliced rubber type white bread I would agree, but if you eat real bread like wot I make at home, the crust is delicious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Gosh ... what would I give for a good Scottish Plain Loaf :drool: :drool: :drool: Serves me right for moving to England I s'pose :unsure: Wish I could find a supplier in our tiny town here :(BUY A BREAD MAKER, they are cheap enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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