Guest ordep Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 MEET JACK SCHITT...Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt, and he has an interesting family tree:In 1957, Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.They had one son, Jack.Jack Schitt grew up and married Noe, and together Jack and Noe Schitt produced 6 children:Holie Schitt (who came to be known as "The Lucky Schitt")Fulla SchittShineola (who didn't really have the Schitt Face)Giva SchittBull Schitt (who really looked like Schitt, the father),and the twins: Dip Schitt and Deep Schitt.Dip Schitt was not very bright, and was known as "The stupid Schitt", and she married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out who happened to share the same last name (no relation, however). Friends affectionately nicknamed them "The Schitts". Their marriage produced no little Schitts.The other twin, Deep Schitt, went on to build a deodorant empire, which became famous for it's slogan: "Smell Like Schitt". Interestingly, that slogan only worked in the United States, and another slogan was more popular in the U.K.: "Put a dab of Schitt on your pits." When the company launched it's product into Australia, a third slogan was used successfully: "Smell Like Schitt Down Under".But soon, trouble developed and Noe Schitt divorced Jack and promptly married a nice man named Ted Sherlock, but being a modern woman, she decided to hyphenate her name. She become known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.Jack was depressed at losing Noe, but he, too, remarried a nice lady named Loda. The blushing bride, Loda Schitt, produced a son of nervous disposition, whom they named Chicken Schitt.Jack and Loda went on to produce two more boys, Krappy Schitt and Ugglee Schitt.These athletic brothers, Krappy and Ugglee, married the stunningly beautiful Happens Sisters in a dual ceremony.The "Schitt-Happens" Wedding was a huge affair, and this union also produced many offspring:Dawg SchittByrd SchittHo*beep* Schittand Pigh SchittBut once again, Jack lost his love for his wife, and left to tour the world. He recently returned from an extended visit to Italy with his newest bride, Pisa.Presently Jack Schitt and his 3rd wife, Pisa Schitt, are living without children in New Jersey on property which contains a stream of water, now known to the locals as "Schitt Creek."(From now on, nobody can say you don't know Jack Schitt!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankus Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 With all that family living there at the house, it must have been full of Schitts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 That qualifies as a masterpiece. :D :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ordep Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Cleaver Doug init, only wish I had written it, <_ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Damo Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Ive seen it as a cartoon somewhere, but cant remember where? :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bvw Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Damo...http://home.pacbell.net/diana_do/knowjack.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Old but good :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Holy Schitt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Smith Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Oh my god!! Just imagine if they all drank neat, small glasses of german spirit! Imagine the scene around the barAnother schnapps shot schitt :P Try saying that when you've had a few, let alone typing it :lol: Thank god for my speelchuckerMr. M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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