catgate Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 As usual, at this time of year, the door mat beneath the letter box has taken its usually pounding from the ceaseless torrent of innumarable gift catalogues pouring in from the seasonal vultures.On perusing some of them I came to the conclusion that these things are called "Gifts" because you certainly would not buy them for yourself.Herewith a few culled examples:-Foldaway transistorised mouse plaiter with artificial horizon and built in mobile phone cover.Hand Embroidered Bath SoapAntimacassar coversFolding bicycle shelf that stows away during useEmergency fish escalator with built in trammel mountingsOrthodontic tripartite baking bowl with mock Jacobean side curtainsCollapsible banana support with detachable Rhubarb facility (only left hand models currently in stock)Ladies luxury 7¾ carat gold necklace, with pearl dropper, that converts, at the touch of a button, into a penthouse suite (Furnishings not included.)Mobile phone with built in camera, radio, manicure set and hover mower.Raffia Granddad KitEasily transportable national disaster kit. At the touch of a button the kit expands into the selected type of disaster, of the size set by you on the LED illuminated control panel, and automatically sends out calls for immediate help, (choose from over 200 listed aid agencies). Batteries not supplied.Executive rechargeable electronic flan..Thermotronic wind breaking trousers, with built in observation balcony. Sleeps six in comfort.Genuine solid oak collapsible pension graduator, with real cream.Quick assembly toll booth with matching ear rings. Buy two and have a party.Has anyone any further examples? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trackrat Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 You certainly get some weird junk mail. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 If there is a reply paid envelope with junk mail, I always write on the mail, 'Your unsolicited junk mail returned at your expense', and then send it back in their reply paid envelope. They soon get fed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r4may Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 All our Junk mail goes straight into the Recycling Bin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 But catgate's mail can't be sent back. It comes from that fun factory others would call a brain.Thos. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2005 Here's a good one:-one dozen bars of everlasting waterproof soap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expertec Posted November 7, 2005 Report Share Posted November 7, 2005 I like the special waterproof teabags and underwater hairdryer too. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadyassa Posted November 7, 2005 Report Share Posted November 7, 2005 I`m laughing so much i cant think of any more :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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