Everything in my favour was against me

[doug]

Been trying to paint the iron gates to my drive for the last few days. Things started well. Got rid of the rust using a rotary wire brush in the electric drill. Got the primer on - in between showers, had to keep going out and drying off the gates with an old towel. Well having got down to nearly bare metal in many places rust could set in again very quickly. The today, while painting the second half with the finishing coat, the wind was blowing the black paint off the brush onto the tarmac drive - well it's black so it won't show, so I pressed on. The wind died down and the sun was shining very strongly. Then to my horror the greenfly started to fly. I saw the b***ars landing on my fresh paint. I continued bravely on, full of Stoicism. Having got the second gate finished, I then started to gold paint the arrow heads on the first gate. Now this paint is not cheap. As I stepped down from a box I was using to stand on for the top arrow heads, a great gust of wind caught me and I staggered and tilted the open tin of paint. Now you may have heard that the streets of London are paved with gold I now have several patches of gold painted tarmac. Thankfully craigs anti-swear word trap was not in force so I did myself proud. Then on hands and knees with white spirit, brush and old rags did work mightily at scrubbing these patches.

Can anyone top this? :blink:

[Guest Nellie2]

Poor you......... next time you will have to weigh yourself down with something so you don't get blown away!! :D

A couple of months ago I was painting my kitchen...a sort of nice burnt orangey colour. I was doing the fiddly bit between the cieling and the wall and was up and down the ladder like a yo yo putting more paint on my brush. In the end I took the pot of paint (which was quite large!) up the ladder with me. I balanced it on the top of the step ladder and away I went. I was leaning over to do a bit more and leaned too far and wobbled the ladder. The paint fell off and went plop onto the floor upside down. Not only did the paint go all over the place but it also splatted the dog, who up untill then had been quite interested in what I was doing. The dog took exception to this and ran off into the hall and living room waving his paint covered tail all over everything............. took me ages to clean that one up I can tell you. :( :(

[doug]

Sounds like I am not alone!

[artist]

Live and learn - live and learn! :lol: :lol:

[Gandalph]

Doug! A drive with black gates and Gold Arrows on the top. It is OK if we still speak to you isn't it. :lol:

[artist]

He must be REALLY rich and needs to guard all his treasures. :D

[andsome]

Many years ago when brightly painted doors were in vogue, I was stooping and painting a bedroom door with pink gloss. I heard 'er indoors coming up the stairs, so called out "just a minute", and started to stand up. I was halfway between standing and stooping when the door opened. I fell backwards with a practically full tin of pink gloss spilled all down my front. I just bawled out, "you stupid woman". A couple of days later a woman who lived a couple of doors down the road met me in the street, and said, "if you want to bawl at your wife in future would you please shut the window first". It seemed that her little girl aged three who was playing in the garden had been quite upset at the volume and tone of my voice.

[mmanya]

Pink & Hostile hm ................ :unsure:

[artist]

Not a very MANLY colour!! :D :D

[andsome]

Not a very MANLY colour!! :D  :D

This was over thirty years ago, and 'er indoors wanted a pink bedroom. Personally as long as she was happy I couldn't have cared a kipper what colour the bedroom was.

[artist]

Oh, dear! I like a man with some input in the house. :hypocrite:

[andsome]

As long as it keeps the nagging at bay

[artist]

If she needs to nag - then it's got ot be YOU at fault! :lol: :lol:

[doug]

Gandalph. Yes I'm quite receptive to humble approaches.

Last year the wife and I went down to the smoke to visit Buck House. As I was having to push her in the wheel chair we had to go in through the front gates - the hoy po-loy entrance is not wheel chair friendly. While we were waiting at the police hut for the escort I had a good look at Their gates. Bog standard gold with black tops. I don't remember seeing any gold splashes on the pavements or greenfly on the black gloss. I wonder who does the DIY there? Is it Phil or Charlie?

The most memorable thing about that day was the sheer pride in being escorted across the front yard with all the onlookers hanging on to the gates and the wife doing the royal hand wave. Brought down to earth with a vengeance as we passed under the review balcony and into the inner quadrangle. It was covered with fine shingle and I and the chair got bogged down. Really struggled to get across the a door with a ramp. When I looked back, there were these two tram-lines snaking from side to side all the way back. Really ruined the very nicely racked gravel. :D

[mmanya]

Ah, seems to me that it serves them right . ;)

[andsome]

Ah, seems to me that it serves them right . ;)

Couldn't agree more. Over paid, over privileged nerds. I just could not bring myself to bow and scrape and say yes ma'am no ma'am three bags full ma'am

[doug]

The Saga continues! Have just started on the last set of gates. Wire brushed all the rust off, in between other requests by you know who! Started to slop on the primer but with the wind howling down the back passage my hand forze. The half full tin of off-white primer shot out of my hand like the way the bar of soap does in the shower. It collided with the corner of the house, facing the front. There was this grey spodge down the front and the side and onto the drive and flagstones goint down the side. I confess, your Lordship, that I did utter an epiphet os so within 50 yards of a public highway. I admit to doing this with great voice. Not only did a couple of neighbours come running to see if there had been an accident, which I said there had been a disaster of Titanic proportions. In fact I'm sure I heard a distant call from Odin asking for an encore.

Out came the jolly old white spirit and a, now, old towel but only limited success. So I had to revert to the power water jet blaster. This shifted most of it. Damn. I had hoped to finist the priming today, then the black gloss tomorrow, then the gold tops on Sunday. This was to be followed up by a quick mowing of the lawn then out for my first jog in nearly 3 weeks. I have split my heel just underneath. This wasn't done jogging but has been very painful and is just starting to heal.

As I said in my first post to this thread - Everything in my favour has been against me.

[andsome]

DOUG!!!!! Sit down and partake of a wee dram.

[doug]

That's an excellent idea, but it won't be a wee one. I'll take up your suggestion. :rolleyes:

[Guest Nellie2]

Doug.......... you have more than one set of gates?????

I suggest that you save up and get a bloke in to do it next time. :D Obviously, you, paint pots and wind just do not go together!! :D :D :D

[doug]

Not only 4 sets of gates, bit of a cheat really. Theres the double gates for the drive in and as I discovered when we moved in I hired a chain saw because you couldn't walk along the pavement in front because the beech hedge had grown out into the road. Anyway I discovered a Lytch gate hidden in the hedge. Contacted the previous owner who denied knowledge of it, having been only in for 3 years. He presumed that the previous owner, who had poor health hadn't bothered. Anyway I carved out an arch over the gate. Never get it quite balanced. When our no.2 daughter came back to live with us with a brand new G'daughter I had the metal gates fitted. At the same time I had metal gates fitted on either side of the house for security to the back, We had been burgled a few times. Haven't been touched since.

However wifey commented when I was bemoaning that I may not have enough primer to finish this last set of gates that as I was going to do the garage door anyway - was I, I don't remember that? - I would probably have had to get some more primer anyway. Who said that when you're retired you have time on your hands. I've never been busier.

[doug]

The rush to get things finished is because I'm long overdue to trim the hedge, which goes around three side of my property. Measured it once, about 450 feet in length and between 7 and 9 feet tall. I usually do both sides - averages 6 feet thick. I'm not a glutton but I suck the clippings up with one of these vacuum shredders and it all goes into the compost bunkers. 3 bunkers ~ 1 metre cubed each. Makes wonderful compost which keeps her garden in very good nick. As she's got 70 large pots and hanging baskets it keeps her busy - and me plenty of work. We were very lucky to find this property when we moved up from Dorset about 27 years ago, it was in a real state so we were able to get for a price that we couldn't quite afford. No holidays for many years but it been worth it. It's smashing provided I remain fit for the 2 of us. Family usually come over most Sundays for the evening dinner. Christmas is fun as we have a house full.