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Christmas presents


catgate
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I was thinking about Christmas shopping and the really useful things that you never see on offer as potential presents. I realised that I had never seen any of the following:-

1 Mobile 'phone/video camera with built in barbeque and dishwasher

2 Hifi hair dryer with built in fold-up camp bed

3 4x4 off road toaster with butter hitch and pack-away castanet rack

4 Reversable knitted polyurethane Suduko hood with draw string to convert into DVD player

There must be others I have overlooked. Any suggestions?

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One of my close friends has suggested that I ask Santa for a 36.24.34 model bottle opener with built in GSOH. I don't know exactly what it is, but am assured it will be more satisfying than my current corkscrew.

Failing that I will accept an Acme cartoon tool kit.

I need to give my dumb nephew a universal farm calculator for Christmas. He is so thick he has no idea that 1 barrel, 4 pecks and 3 bushels of corn occupies a volume of 255 litres. Modern education is a disgrace.

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Last year my countryside niece had a shotgun wedding and was told that she should have a long train on her wedding dress.

It's a good job she is a well built lass - not many people could drag the Flying Scotsman down a church aisle

GROAN!

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1 Mobile 'phone/video camera with built in barbeque and dishwasher

2 Hifi hair dryer with built in fold-up camp bed

3 4x4 off road toaster with butter hitch and pack-away castanet rack

4 Reversable knitted polyurethane Suduko hood with draw string to convert into DVD player

I just can't see what use any of them would be??? :huh:

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1 Mobile 'phone/video camera with built in barbeque and dishwasher

2 Hifi hair dryer with built in fold-up camp bed

3 4x4 off road toaster with butter hitch and pack-away castanet rack

4 Reversable knitted polyurethane Suduko hood with draw string to convert into DVD player

I just can't see what use any of them would be??? :huh:

It is known in the trade as "added value".

For example if you were out and about with item 3, and had just pulled over to un-hitch the butter, you could be thinking, "Oh! Heck. Where am I going to put my castanets while I perform this task?" the answer is quite simple. You simply pull out the castanet rack.

Not only is it "added value" but it as also "forward planning".

It is the same with item 4.

If you have just reversed your knitted polyurethane Sudoka hood and you think "I could just fancy watching a DVD." All you need to do is pull the draw string. Simple.

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1 Mobile 'phone/video camera with built in barbeque and dishwasher

2 Hifi hair dryer with built in fold-up camp bed

3 4x4 off road toaster with butter hitch and pack-away castanet rack

4 Reversable knitted polyurethane Suduko hood with draw string to convert into DVD player

I just can't see what use any of them would be??? :huh:

It is known in the trade as "added value".

For example if you were out and about with item 3, and had just pulled over to un-hitch the butter, you could be thinking, "Oh! Heck. Where am I going to put my castanets while I perform this task?" the answer is quite simple. You simply pull out the castanet rack.

Not only is it "added value" but it as also "forward planning".

It is the same with item 4.

If you have just reversed your knitted polyurethane Sudoka hood and you think "I could just fancy watching a DVD." All you need to do is pull the draw string. Simple.

Stands to reason.

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I just can't see what use any of them would be??? :huh:

A typical female attitude. If it aint pretty, pink and perfumed - they quite fail to see any merit in it.

The fact that men have sweated long and hard to come up with such inventive and useful presents is of no consequence.

How about a combination lace frilled bra and coal scoop - with inbuilt vase....?

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