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Does this seem familiar....


AlanHo
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On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me

I’m glad we bought the turkey and a nice big Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard

As we tucked into our turkey – a most delicious bird

On the third day we had round – the neighbours from next door

The turkey tasted just as good - as on the day before

It was the fourth day of Christmas – and I was feeling old

We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold

On the fifth day of Christmas – what to eat was quite a worry

I did not want to waste the food – so we had a turkey curry

On the sixth day, I must admit, the Christmas spirit died

The family started bickering and we ate the turkey fried

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love he did wince

When he sat down at the table and was served with turkey mince

Day eight and nerves were getting frayed, the dog had run for shelter

I served up turkey pancakes with a glass of Alka Seltzer

On the ninth day the cat left home – by lunchtime dad was blotto

He had to have a big stiff drink to face the turkey risotto

By the tenth day – the booze had gone – except our home made brew

And as if that wasn’t bad enough – we suffered turkey stew

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting

The mince pies were as hard as rocks, and the turkey was revolting

On the twelfth day my true love had a smile upon his lips

The guests had gone – the turkey too – and we dined on fish and chips.

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It was all that, plus the trudging round all the aunts and uncles ("Well you must come to us tomorrow","Oh no we're going to our Jim's". "Well next Thursday then," "OK, But You'll be coming to us next Friday wont you?" etc) that made me realise that there could be no caring god. To subject everyone to that, every year, was beyond belief and faith.

It was like Arabs trailing from one oasis to the next, and every where you went it was there, in one of the above guises.

We hide behind the sofa as soon as we see Christmas approaching and only come out about 3rd of Jan.

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