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Pet Hate - Bleach Bottles


AlanHo
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Has anyone ever conquered the problem of how to open a plastic bottle of bleach – or is it just me having weak thumbs.

 

The top has two pads which you are supposed to squeeze inwards. This distorts the plastic top and opens out two protuberances on the inside which theoretically release it from two protuberances on the bottle top to enable you to turn the cap and open the bottle.

 

Libby returned from shopping today and asked me to open a bottle of bleach. I used all my strength to squeeze the cap in enough to turn it and failed. I then used both hands to squeeze the cap pads in whilst Libby turned the bottle – that was also a dismal failure.

 

I then ventured outside in the snow to get some mole grips from my shed – which again proved to be a failure.  Even they couldn’t squeeze the cap pads enough

 

I finished up using a Stanley knife to cut away the bottom half of the cap to remove the lower ring which contained the “locking bits”.

 

I was then presented with a screw top which proved impossible to open by hand – but the Mole Grips solved that little problem.

 

This has become a weekly chore because Libby is a bleach addict and it has become a significant part of the grocery bill. I always flush the toilet before using it -  otherwise any splashes could cause a major injury – or is that too much information?

 

So damn the guy who designed the bleach bottle and cap – he clearly has not realised that there are old people in this World whose wives use gallons of bleach – and lack the superhuman strength and tenacity to open the bloody bottles.

 

Rant over – I’ll get my coat.

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Suggestion !  Get a suitable bottle  which will hold the quantity of bleach in your bleach  bottle. Then drill 2 suitable holes* in the bleach bottle stopper and transfer your bleach into the bottle you now have there ready for it

 

*One for letting out the bleach and the other for letting air in.

 

The Catgate advisory agency is a non profit organisation.

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1 hour ago, catgate said:

The Catgate advisory agency is a non profit organisation.

I guess it's also a non prophet organisation.

 

I guess it is entirely appropriate on the 70th anniversary of the NHS that we question the myth of both physical and mental well-being and our blind addiction to such a myth.
Before 1948, dying of the plague was no more than just another ingredient of living; it was accepted, we didn't moan about it, we got on with it, we did what all true Englishmen did and shuffled off our mortal coil without any fuss or bother, with a bang, not with a whimper (how else did we get this Empire?).
 
Sadly, since Lister and the advent of penicillin, this creeping neurosis of wanting to live forever has so eroded our former elan, our former glory, our former state of grace, we now find ourselves spending most of our days scouring supermarkets and other pharmacopoeia looking for ever-stronger anti-bacterial, anti-viral and anti-fungal solutions in order to sterilize our homes , our lifestyles and our other waking moments generally.
 
We even go to such extremes as washing our hands before leaving the bathroom. Our neurosis is now so far embedded in the post NHS world that our return to a Paradise Lost would be impossible without at least one bottle of bleach three times daily!
 
The fact that we, none of us, can ever open these bottles without first cutting off most of our fingers is nothing more than a side issue, surely, not important at all?
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The Catgate advisory agency is also interested in a branch of medicine that is called Homeopathy.

If ever there was a black magic like branch of medicine this is it.  To try to describe it here would be like trying to poking a ********* up a  @@@@@@.

It cured me of a strange stomach problem that  three M.D.s and the Airedale Hospital failed to touch.

 

I will not go into detail now, because I have a feeling that I once brought this matter up on-line before. However should someone ask for more info ......

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, -pops- said:

Change the brand of bleach that you buy - a brand with easier caps.


I sent an Email to a few friends on the subject and 2 of them have met the same problem. One of them simply drills a hole in the top of the bleach bottle and empties the bleach into a screw top bottle for his wife to use as suggested earlier in this thread by catgate.

The Tesco ones work on the same principal but - with difficulty - I can open those.

 

However, I am not allowed to shop at Tesco for good reason. A son in law of Libby works for Tesco and 18 months ago he went to the aid of a security guard who had tried to stop two shoplifting Somalis. They had 4 mates in the shop who joined in and the result was the guard and our SIL were badly hurt and hospitalised. Our son in law left hospital 4 weeks later with spinal injuries and can no longer walk far, stand for long, ride his beloved trike or lift anything even remotely heavy.  He was off work for months and had to fight Tesco for some compensation and to be transferred to part-time lighter duties. The outcome has been a permanent loss of health and earnings. Libby will no longer shop there which leaves me wrestling with bleach bottles each week.

 

The Somalis were never apprehended and have got away with it. 
 

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7 minutes ago, catgate said:

 

"The Somalis were never apprehended and have got away with it. "

 

Surely Tesco have some sort of obligation to recompense him, up to his level of earnings prior to his being incapacitated by customers.  

That's what the long drawn out dispute was all about.  Tesco's lawyers were smarterr than his union representative unfortunately. He had pulled a muscle in his back 3 years ago dragging the big crates the stuff is delivered to the store in, and had a week off work. He was fine until the Somali fracas.

 

They claimed he had a pre-exiting condition and diluted his compensation. He should have refused their offer and taken it to court - but he chickened out in case he got even less. In real life Goliath often  wins.

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We have trouble with this too. I hear: "Can you open the bleach", or its just left out on the kitchen counter for me to deal with.

I asked the doctor for some pils to build up my strength. I cannot get the top off the chemists bottle.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

If you really want to use small bottles, buy Sainsbury’s small ones, they only need a simple squeeze of the top to open. For better economy look out for the ones that only need a press downwards, and top up the small Sainsbury’s ones. No problem at all. :hi:

 

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