Back From Holiday

[AlanHo]

We have just returned from a week away in Lanzarote at a 5 star hotel called H10 Rubicon Palace. We booked the holiday as a TUI (Thompsons) package which worked out cheaper than our usual method of booking flights and hotel separately.

 

It is a conventional hotel with a main building housing the reception, bar. theatre, restaurants etc and some of its rooms. The rest of the accommodation was in mini villas housing individual rooms dotted around beautifully landscaped grounds covering more than 20 acres. It is truly a very impressive 5 star setting.  We stayed last year in its sister hotel called the Timanfaya Palace about a mile further east along the coast and had seen the Rubicon on our walks along the promenade being completely refurbished. A year ago it was virtually a building site – now it is like a brand new hotel.

 

We landed at the airport at 22.15 on schedule, and being one of the last flights to arrive we found a near deserted terminal and got through immigration, luggage collection and security in record time. We had booked a hire car and it was waiting for us. A SEAT Ibiza petrol automatic with only 700 kilometres on the clock. A nice car but a bit low seating for our old bones. We had an easy drive, guided by my Garmin satnav, to the hotel and arrived there at 23:30 to check in.

 

We had missed evening dinner but were advised a cold meal awaited us in the restaurant 4 floors down on the 2nd floor. So we made our way there to find tables set out with plates of salads under shrink wrap in an unmanned restaurant. There were bottles of water with each meal with metal caps – but no bottle openers. I managed to lever one open with a table knife but then found that the meal contained mussels – but both of us are allergic to mussels. 5 minutes into picking at what we could eat – the restaurant was plunged into darkness – the lights clearly set to go off by a timer at midnight. I couldn’t find a light switch, we were both tired, so we went to our room and went to bed.

 

It is an upside-down hotel because Lanzarote do not allow buildings of more than 2 storeys above ground level. Our hotel was built into the side of an extinct volcano alongside the sea. The main entrance and reception were at road level on the 6th floor and the main restaurants, pools etc were on the 2nd floor with ramps and steps from there, leading down to the promenade at sea level. Our room was in a block remote from the main hotel, almost next to the sea promenade. We had a spacious room which was nicely furnished, with a balcony facing north west with a sea view. Hence we had full sun on our balcony from mid-day until sunset. 

 

The hotel grounds housed a small shopping mall and a cabaret theatre for which you had to book - which provided a splendid 5 course meal with unlimited wine for just 9 euros with excellent entertainment. All hotel guests on half board or full board could also book evening dinner at three a la carte restaurants. Namely Oriental, American Steak and Italian at no cost other than drinks.

 

Hence in almost every respect it was 5 star. But it wasn’t.

 

The evening meal was held in a large buffet restaurant with a wide range of nicely cooked food. We were on half board so the only extra expense was a bottle of wine. The house wines, which we tried and judged to be OK, were 12 euros, but some very good wines could be found for less than 20 euros. Not untypical for Spanish hotels – so no complaints there.

 

However – and you knew this was coming – our favourable impressions were soon to be destroyed. The perpetrators being other guests – regrettably mostly British. Their sense of dress code was non-existent and the behaviour of both them and their brats (children from hell) was unbelievable. The few waiters there were run ragged and getting to the buffets and back to your table required a wade though sweaty, half dressed, tattooed, obese and impolite humanity. And that was just the women. This was punctuated by screaming and running kids yelling and crying to fight their way to the pizza and burger or ice cream counters. It was a nightmare. It was made worse by a member of staff in a huge Daisy flower costume patrolling the restaurant to high five all the brats. I wished he would go get a job at Disney

 

On the positive side the grounds were not crowded and there were always dozens of sun loungers around the pools available, even though the hotel was almost fully booked. Not that we ever wanted one though.

We had no rain during the holiday and lots of sunshine mixed with cloudy periods but there were high winds all the time. The first three days being very high winds – enough for you to have to brace yourself.  Despite this we enjoyed some nice trips in the car and we managed to walk a couple of miles most days along the promenades.

 

Our flight home was not until 23.20 at night and we had to check out by noon. Hence, we would not be allowed evening dinner. Having paid for 7 days half board and not getting a meal upon arrival we were miffed about this and asked the hotel’s guest liaison rep if we could have a meal on the last day to make up for the one we had paid for but missed on the first day. After 2 days umming and aaring the hotel eventually conceded and gave us a complimentary voucher for a free meal on the last day. The restaurant maitre D had never seen one before and we had to explain to him the circumstances. I’m sure he didn’t understand, but we got the free meal and a bottle of wine anyway.

 

After this holiday we have decided that even 5 star holidays are not for us – unless it is an adult only hotel or apartment complex backed up with glowing Trip Advisor or other client reports. KIds R Not Us.

 

 

 

[Irene]

12 hours ago, AlanHo said:

After this holiday we have decided that even 5 star holidays are not for us – unless it is an adult only hotel or apartment complex backed up with glowing Trip Advisor or other client reports. KIds R Not Us.

I couldn't agree more, Alan.  

 

Sorry your birthday 'get-away' didn't turn out as well as you both wished.  It's good to get back home sometimes.   

[andsome]

That’s hat we like about Warner’s. Kids are not allowed in the hotel. Bliss

[Boris]

Do you lot not have any young grand-children ?

 

We have four, all 6 and under.

 

We have 2 of them for 3 days a week (which ones depends on the day).

 

Mrs B and I love having them around us ........................ but I must admit that we do like the rest when they go home in the evening.

[andsome]

We have two, the young one is now thirteen, and the oldest is twenty two. They always behaved themselves in restaurants etc, and were a pleasure to take out. There is no need to allow children to run riot. Ours kept running about for the park, not for restaurants.

[AlanHo]

I know I sound like a miserable old fogey but in my day you supervised your children and taught them good manners - especially in public places.

 

Nowadays, parents go for a meal and have their eyes constantly glued on their smartphone rather than each other or their kids who are left to their own devices. If you complain, you are likely to be met with abuse. Hence we all have to put up with their selfish lack of good parenting and the uncontrolled behaviour of their feral offspring.

 

I saw only one other man in the hotel restaurant who wore a jacket and tie for dinner - most had scruffy T shirts smothered with logos and either wore ripped jeans, tracksuit bottoms or short shorts. Some even wore baseball caps for dinner - even on backwards. In fairness, some of the women, especially seniors, were nicely dressed. But the young ones left much to be desired - and much on display. 

 

[andsome]

Well said

[Boris]

1 hour ago, andsome said:

We have two, the young one is now thirteen, and the oldest is twenty two. They always behaved themselves in restaurants etc, and were a pleasure to take out. There is no need to allow children to run riot.

Totally agree - I  raised my 2 daughters the "proper" way, and they are both raising their own kids correctly.

 

My eldest daughter, when aged 18 months was taken by us to a (then) 4* hotel (The Grand Atlantic) in Weston-super-Mare and whilst sat in her high chair was commended by the management for her exemplary eating behaviour in the restaurant.

[D4\/!d]

Its a generation thing. I agree with your every word. If They were not at the resort you would have met them on the plane, sitting, kicking, swearing, boozing behind you.