Women's woes

[artist]

Many woman are afraid of their mammogram, but there is no

need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week

preceding the exam and doing the following practice

exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all,

you can do these simple practice exercises right in the

privacy of your own home.

Exercise No. 1:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.

Invite a stranger into the room. Place one bookend on each

side of your breast. Press the bookends together as hard as

you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet again

next year and do it again. Repeat all steps on the other

breast.

Exercise No. 2:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between

the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends

(or a stranger) slam the door shut as hard as possible and

lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for

five seconds. Don't breathe. REPEAT again in case the first

time wasn't effective enough. REPEAT all steps on the other

breast.

Exercise No. 3:

Visit your garage at 3:00 a.m. when the temperature of the

concrete floor is just perfect (anywhere below 32 degrees).

Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the

floor with one breast wedged tightly under the rear tire of

the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the

breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and

repeat for the other breast.

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are properly prepared for your

mammogram.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- :rolleyes:

Chaps - Imagine your little round bits treated in this way!!!!

[Chris]

Imagine?

I already did all dat :P

[monkeyhanger]

:( :( :(

[andsome]

No thanks

[Guest Grim Reaper]

what is it with women and complaining???????

it's just like all that fuss they make about childbirth........!!!!!!!

if they want to know about pain they should try living with themselves for a few days....now that is pain!

[artist]

YOU are asking for a smack, LL!!!!! :angry:

[mikef]

Got to defend my mammography colleagues, but it is a life saver, if they decided to test for prostrate cancer, which kills as many men as breast cancer kills women, I would happily have it even though it is more unpleasant than a mammogram,it's an ultrasound done rectally.

PS if you haven't gathered it I'm a Radiographer, but doing Cardiology.

[-pops-]

Continuing mikef's serious note, remember that men also get breast cancer.

My elder son who is a gynaecologist specialising in oncology is seeing more and more male patients with breast cancer. whether this is a true reflection of an increase of whether it indicates a greater awareness of men about their body, he doesn't know.

So, guys, check your chest for odd lumps that shouldn't be there. Check your armpits as well. While you're in this health conscious mood, check your balls and don't be coy about it - have a good squeeze around.

Brian

[artist]

Or let the other half do it fo you! ;) :)

[monkeyhanger]

Or let the other half do it fo you! ;)  :)

The wife always checks mine. :o

Regularly :wub: :wub: :wub:

[don't ask]

I'm shortly due for my annual mammo - thanks for the reminder Artist :mellow:

I hope not too many of you really know how useful those practise exercises are ;)

[monkeyhanger]

don't ask

Hope everything goes well for you. :)