catgate Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 I have just discovered yet another of those dreadful confidence tricks of the type than makes a chaps blood pressure rise.A little farther down the road from us lives a little old lady. Who, all her life, has been saving up to buy an automatic Pope. Unfortunately, as her savings have grown the price of one has gone up, and she seemed doomed to fail in her objective. However, I was recently in the "open market" of a large Lancashire town, and as I browsed around the stalls, lo and behold, a sign which said "Automatic Popes...70% off"! So I went to investigate further. Sure enough there was a pile of them at the back of the stall, all wrapped in corrugated cardboard, brown paper and hairy farmers string. On impulse I bought one, thinking that I would give it to her on June 30th, which as you know is now designated as "National Little Old Lady Farther Down The Road Day".When I got it home I decided to rewrap it, in a rather neater fashion, before giving it to her. Imagine my feelings when, as I unwrapped it, it turned out not to be an automatic Pope, but an ordinary cheap electric Cardinal, that had been touched up with a pot of white paint!, (and rather shoddily too) I think you should all warn your friends and relatives to be on their guard, and if they see automatic Popes offered at discount prices, to first go and see the Citizens Advice Bureau before making a purchase. I have since discovered that there are loop holes in both the Trade Descriptions Act and The Sale of Goods Act that exempt automatic Popes and electric Cardinals from the provisions of these acts, although clockwork Grannies and water Vicars are covered, albeit only if V.A.T. has been paid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir T Fireball Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 Thanks for the tip-off :o :P :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie2 Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 What is an automatic Pope :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expertec Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 Might be something like an electric monk... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expertec Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 Here it is:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_monkThe idea of the Electric Monk was created by Douglas Adams in his book Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency:The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 Hm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted June 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 I like the idea of the Electric monk. It reminds me of the couple in our village who like growing rhubarb, but, quite understandably from my point of view, cannot eat it, due to its disgusting taste. So, again quite understandably, they employ a man to eat it for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 I like the idea of the Electric monk. It reminds me of the couple in our village who like growing rhubarb, but, quite understandably from my point of view, cannot eat it, due to its disgusting taste. So, again quite understandably, they employ a man to eat it for them.If they dismiss him, I'll volunteer for that job. Nothing like a nice rhubarb crumble with lashings of thick creamy custard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Besty Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 My gram makes the nicest rubarb crumble Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted June 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 My first wife's mother could make the freshest milk curdle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted June 25, 2004 Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 My gram makes the nicest rubarb crumbleI particularly love it made with whole wheat flour and brown sugar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prctr Posted July 4, 2004 Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 OK, folks........about this rubarb crumble.........It isn't reasonable for us over here to know about this dish. I have had rubarb in a pie, when I was a child, but nothing particularly edible made with rubarb since.How about it, ansome? A recipe?And while we are on the topic of food: Is it possible to prepare fish-and-chips in the United States, and how would that be done properly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Elf Posted July 4, 2004 Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 Ingredients5 stalks of rhubarb, chopped2 tbsp of wine (red or white)75g/3oz caster sugar175g/6oz plain flour50g/2oz brown sugar100g/3½ oz butter25g/1oz raisinsMethod1. Preheat a large saucepan.2. Preheat the oven to a hot heat.3. Place the rhubarb, wine and sugar in the saucepan. Cook down for 5 mins.4. While the rhubarb is stewing, prepare the crumble topping in a large bowl. Rub the butter with the flour until it resembles breadcrumbs. Add the sugar and raisons and stir.5. Pour the rhubarb into an ovenproof dish. Place the crumble topping on top. Finish in the oven 5-10 minutes (longer if you have the time).'Borrowed' from the BBC website Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 4, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 "Chop" the rhubarb? There's a thought. My mother used to make it in a long thin dish. I bet she never thought of chopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Elf Posted July 4, 2004 Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 She might have done if she lost the long thin dish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankus Posted July 4, 2004 Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 raisins ...? ....wine ....? ....uh...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Elf Posted July 4, 2004 Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 raisins ...? ....wine ....? ....uh...?It's the 'posh' version courtesy of Antony Worrall Thompson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie2 Posted July 4, 2004 Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 How did we get from an automatic pope to Rhubarb?? :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Elf Posted July 4, 2004 Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 Was aksed, am polite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 4, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2004 nellie2 How did we get from an automatic pope to Rhubarb??Things do have a way of changing when least expected. Take Doris Inglthorpe, part time spinster of Helmsley. She was born in the middle of the eighteenth century and died in 1825, and spent her life improving the design of everyday things like furniture and crockery. It was she who originated the occasional table. Unfortunately she died before she decided what it would be for the rest of its time.One of Doris' decendants, Basil Inglethorpe, started a small company, in 1885, specialising in altering second hand, industrial, wooden boxes, which were used to transport goods up and down the country. He called his company "Circumstances", because he had heard the old saying that "circumstances alter cases". He was celebrated in the East Riding of Yorkshire for his subcutaneous ham sandwiches, which he served at breakneck speed riding side saddle on an early prototype hostess trolley. Unfortunately he died unfulfilled, because he had always wanted to be arranged in alphabetical order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir T Fireball Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Keep this up Catgate and I'm going to start a fan club :D :P :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Sir T Keep this up Catgate and I'm going to start a fan clubI had no idea you were interested in some of the Famous people of Yorkshire. Some years ago I did a thorough survey and discovered several people of real genius. Such as Elizabeth Fortyskew (1837 - 1910) of Huddersfield, who was renowned for her charity work. Not so much for donating to, or working for, charities, as starting new ones. She started the Society for the Support of One Parent Childless Families, the Society for the Provision of Blind Dogs to Women with Wooden Legs, the Society for the Eradication of Woodworm in Wooden Legs, the Society for the Control of Temperamental Emolument and an anonymous society for unknown celebrities. She gave all her time and effort, (apart from the time she needed to devote to making a living, by following her profession as fish needle polisher,) to these fraternities and eventually died as a penniless, obscure, childless spinster with a blind dog, and with her wooden leg terminally riddled with woodworm. Her lasting monument is the tree she planted in Huddersfield Town Hall Square, and which was cut down in 1932 during road widening works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Some years ago I did a thorough survey and discovered several people of real genius. Such as Elizabeth Fortyskew (1837 - 1910) of HuddersfieldYou were not thorough enough - otherwise you would have detailed the sterling work she did for that non-prophet organisation the Galvanised Atheism Foundation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 AlanHo You were not thorough enough - otherwise you would have detailed the sterling work she did for that non-prophet organisation the Galvanised Atheism Foundation.You are right, in as much as I did not mention it. However I thought, mistakenly it would seem, that the august body, to which you refer, was amalgamated into the East Ardswick Concerned Apathists and Ferret Stranglers Oboe Sextet. Who, as you know, did such sterling work alongside the Cleckheaton Over 80s Nudust Formation Choral Leapfrog team. Certainly more appealing than Big Brother where entertainment is concerned. The one of the joys of their performances was always the self generated applause to be heard from the coming together of the flabby bits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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