Doris Twonk's demise,

[catgate]

In response to several requests that have not flooded in here is the happening on a grey late Autumn morning in 1944.

edit ;- I described Doris elsewhere thus- She was a horror. A short Nora Batty with the milk of human kindness fully extracted and replaced with wasp venom.

Bradford is situated in the "dead end" of a valley. Every way into ( or out of) Bradford, apart from one ( the route NNW to the Aire Valley) is down (or up) a hill. We lived well out of Bradford to the SW and I had to catch a tram into the centre every school day, and then a trolley bus out along Manningham Lane (NNW).

On the route into town there was a right turn at a cross roads controlled by traffic lights. This right turn was needed because the road ahead, although being the direct route into town, was extremely steep. About 30 yds round this corner was what was called a "Board of Trade" stop. All trams were required to stop here full or empty, whether there were passengers to pick up or not. It was something to do with testing the brakes. (It always struck me as "cart before the horse" because a set of traffic lights on a right angle turn had just been negotiate). After leaving the Board of Trade stop the track went straight on for something like 80 yds and then turned left and angled down into town on a more friendly gradient. Right. So much for the topography.

At the time of day that we travelled (a friend and I) much of the population of Bradford was on the hoof and consequently there were the inevitable queues at tram stops. The right hand bend at the traffic lights was a favourite place for people to "hop on" without the queueing because the tram had to slow down to the pace of a geriatric snail to negotiate the corner, even if the lights were green.

This particular morning our clippy was old misery guts herself, Most of the young men were in the services and all the older chaps were now drivers. We were situated upstairs out at the back leaning over the rails as usual and watching the world go by when a strapping young chap jumped on as the tram went round the corner. We often saw him at that time and I assumed he was in some sort of "reserved" occupation, engineering at AVRO or some such.

Well old Doris did not like his jumping on (she liked nothing) and when the tram stopped, as it had to do, she told him to get off and let all these other people on who were in the queue. Of course he refused, claiming he had already boarded the tram before all these other people so why should he get off etc. Eventually Doris said that she would not let anyone get on the tram until he got off, which of course resulted in murmurs of support for her from the queueing Bradfordians, despite their general dislike of Doris.

So eventually the chap got off, and everyone in the queue got on. At this point silly old Doris leaned out, put her arm across the entire entry to stop him getting on and said to him, "Sorry, we're full up now, you'll have to wait for the next tram." (I should explain at this point that the signalling on the trams was by means of a long leather thong that ran from the conductors platform to the bell on the drivers platform at the front, and the "code" was:- one dong for STOP, two dongs for GO and three dongs for WE ARE NOW FULL DO NOT STOP UNTIL I TELL YOU TO.)

So he said "We've all had enough of you, I'll show you what I am going to do with you."and just forced his way on to the platform, grabbed hold of her round the waist and lifted her off the platform onto the roadway. As he was leaving the platform he grabbed the leather thong and went DONG DONG DONG on the bell. He held her firmly in place until the tram started to move and then ran after it and jumped back on. Of course because the tram was full the driver was totally oblivious to all this and was just working to signals.

Old misery guts was left there waving and shouting and looking like the sad old prat that she was. As the tram negotiated the left hand bend she realised she had a whistle. However, although we could just hear it, the driver could not and so we went none stop right down into the town centre leaving Doris to explain to someone, some where, some how, about her exciting adventure. I can not remember seeing her again after this.

[AlanHo]

You have brought back memories of the Birmingham trams - and trolley buses.

When I was a kid - my bestest mate and I used to collect bus, tram and trolley bus tickets on our journeys around Brum. There were Birmingham corporation buses & trams and a company called Midland Red ran buses to the outlying towns.

My bestest mate - who I still socialise with to this day - still has his bus and tram ticket collection.

Sad isn't it.

[Watchful]

Poor old Doris :lol:

She deserved it though. It was common practice in those days to jump on trams or buses everywhere. Some old spoilsport has now put an end to that by installing folding doors on the buses which have resulted in more accidents than the old ones had

[Irene]

You have brought back memories of the Birmingham trams - and trolley buses. When I was a kid - my bestest mate and I used to collect bus, tram and trolley bus tickets on our journeys around Brum. There were Birmingham corporation buses & trams and a company called Midland Red ran buses to the outlying towns. My bestest mate - who I still socialise with to this day - still has his bus and tram ticket collection. Sad isn't it.

Certainly not! ........

• It's great that we can look back with 'positive' nostalgia.
  
• Marvelous that your bestest mate still has his collection.
  
• Even better that you are still in regular touch with your mate.
  

I have two particular school friends, with whom I have regular contact.

I can't imagine them not being there, as we all have done for the past fifty years.

The sad time will be when one or other of us is not. :(

[catgate]

[*]Marvelous that your bestest mate still has his collection.

I think it is astounding that some have "recollection" after all these years.

[AlanHo]

[*]Marvelous that your bestest mate still has his collection.

I think it is astounding that some have "recollection" after all these years.

Following on from Irene's last post on this thread. Many of my friends were originally friends - or husbands of - my late wife's school chums who she maintained contact with since childhood. 5 of them were together in infants school.

I must admit that females seem much better at keeping friends from way back - the mate I referred to is the only one from my school days. My other friends I met whilst an expat in the Middle East or friends of my current partner.

[catgate]

The only schoolday's friend I know anything about is the one who was my best man and who is now (or was last time we met about three years ago) secretary of the Wainright Society. He could walk us all off our feet, even all those years ago.

[Watchful]

I still have weekly contact with my best girl friend from school days. She was one of my bridesmaids and is still my best mate.

My husband has lost contact with all of his mates. :(

[andsome]

Alan, had you ever used to go round the out circle on the Birmingham buses? I seem to remember that it took about two and a half hours, and the child's fare was 4 1/2d. :D

[AlanHo]

Alan, had you ever used to go round the out circle on the Birmingham buses? I seem to remember that it took about two and a half hours, and the child's fare was 4 1/2d. :D

Blimey andsome - that brings back memories.

Quite regularly on a Sunday afternoon, my dad would give me and my brother extra pocket money to go round the outer circle route and buy a toffee apple from an old lady at the end of our road (sweets were on ration then)

I was in my teens before I twigged the randy buggers motives..... :lol:

[andsome]

Alan, had you ever used to go round the out circle on the Birmingham buses? I seem to remember that it took about two and a half hours, and the child's fare was 4 1/2d. :D

Blimey andsome - that brings back memories.

Quite regularly on a Sunday afternoon, my dad would give me and my brother extra pocket money to go round the outer circle route and buy a toffee apple from an old lady at the end of our road (sweets were on ration then)

I was in my teens before I twigged the randy buggers motives..... :lol:

Was 2 1/2 hours long enough then? :lol:

[andsome]

Alan, this should interest you.

[AlanHo]

Alan, this should interest you.

Thanks andsome - that is interesting. Also a bit disheartening when you read the comments added by readers - makes you wonder if the bus actually goes near any schools with such spelling and grammar.