Hellooo I am calling from Windows about your computer

[Belatucadrus]

They called again and as I was in a goodish mood I didn't come up with my usual reposte, ie " F*** off you time wasting loser" or some other elegant witicism. No this time I listened and engaged them in conversation, let her go through the usual spiel about error messages and wanting to access the log. At this point I told her I had no Windows machines, only Linux and Android. She then tells me that Android isn't an operating system it's a phone ! I then educated the poor boob advising her that Android was the operating system used on most tablet computers and that she was clearly a complete ignoramus who wasn't getting anywhere near my computers. She tried to start again at which point my usual joie de vivre expired with a sort of uninspiring muted pop to lie on the floor in a turged grey mass to be replaced by chronic dyspepsia and I then told her to get knotted which is probably what I should have done in the first place.

[Alan2273]

Next time ask them which kernel version they are calling about, that always confuses them.

[Gandalph]

I had a call several months ago about the Virus I had on my Windows machine. It was a bloke. I asked him about it in a panicky sort of voice and try to show I was very concerned about it. He then asked me to go to a web-site where I could download a program to do a scan, at a cost of £70.00 then for a further £30.00 I could download a removal tool to totally remove the Virus.

I asked him if he could ring me back in about twenty minutes as I would have to contact Apple Computers and ask them if it was alright to download Windows programs onto an Apple Macintosh computer.

He never did call back for some reason.