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Application For Posters of Non-Existing Problems:


bludgard
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Application_Page1.jpg

Forward all applications to MANEMAN (Supreme Global Care Representative).

Any and all are welcome to apply; just don't get yer panties in a wad if there are no calls to validate acceptance.

Fine print: Acceptance based on quantity of bank holdings as well as fishing experience.

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It would appear that we have found a public relations representative!

Congratulations, Gandalph! You have been bestown the title of:

Sir Most Excellent Strewer of Worthless Rhetoric.

If you are experiencing digital difficulties, please snail-mail your banking information (along with your aunts) forthwith to secure eligability of receiving a text message confirming position in our illustrious organization.

For you convenience, a PDF version of the application is attatched below. It is now your duty as the newly appointed pontif of pushing potential pandemonium to spread this worthless crap to the four(4) corners; and beyond.

It has been decreed.

So say I.

Application.pdf

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It would appear that we have found a public relations representative!

Congratulations, Gandalph! You have been bestown the title of:

Sir Most Excellent Strewer of Worthless Rhetoric.

If you are experiencing digital difficulties, please snail-mail your banking information (along with your aunts) forthwith to secure eligability of receiving a text message confirming position in our illustrious organization.

For you convenience, a PDF version of the application is attatched below. It is now your duty as the newly appointed pontif of pushing potential pandemonium to spread this worthless crap to the four(4) corners; and beyond.

It has been decreed.

So say I.

Thank you kind Sir, you are most gracious.

My Credit Card details along with the security number are in the post as I type. :unsure:

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If you are suffering from erectile disfunction - is this classed as a non existing problem.

Might not be too hard to answer.

If you would kindly provide all the information required within the application :rtfm: , I will direct you to the proper department.

Thank you, AlanHo.

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Yay ! Yipee !

'Tis the Solihull Kid :)

.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.

Dear Mr Ho,

Sir, I have today received notification from Mr. B.Ludgard that you would wish to post useless, misleading, and/or non-existent problems.

Upon receipt of your form forwarded from the aforesaid Mr. B.Ludgard to my department here at the "Halls of Learning" Chambers I will be pleased to email an application that you may install upon your computer.

I enclose a screenshot of your ready to mail application which you may use on any forum of your choice.

Error_Message4.png

You are but the second to receive such an app from us. Perhaps you would wish to view the first of the batch sent out.

Error_Message3.png

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OK - I will come clean. I do indeed have a dysfunction - but not what you are thinking. Quite the opposite actually it is called semi perpetual involuntary priapism and can be most embarrassing in public. The ladies think I am pleased to see them and the blokes assume I am trying to make them envious. I didn't really want to raise the matter - but it makes life hard for me. Even walking can be a drag.

Some time ago I went to see a specialist accompanied by my wife.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained that, though rare, my condition is colloquially called Donkey Doodle and can only be fixed by corrective surgery.

'How long will my husband be on crutches?' my wife asked anxiously.

'Crutches? Why would he need crutches?' responded the surprised doctor.

'Well,' said my wife coldly, 'you're going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?

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OK - I will come clean. I do indeed have a dysfunction - but not what you are thinking. Quite the opposite actually it is called semi perpetual involuntary priapism and can be most embarrassing in public. The ladies think I am pleased to see them and the blokes assume I am trying to make them envious. I didn't really want to raise the matter - but it makes life hard for me. Even walking can be a drag.

Some time ago I went to see a specialist accompanied by my wife.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained that, though rare, my condition is colloquially called Donkey Doodle and can only be fixed by corrective surgery.

'How long will my husband be on crutches?' my wife asked anxiously.

'Crutches? Why would he need crutches?' responded the surprised doctor.

'Well,' said my wife coldly, 'you're going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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I'm here. We're listening. Your post has been replied too. :)

Whilst I am here Alan. I have read your latest email. (you know exactly what I am like with emails :( )

Good find. I knew that wireless printers were available, - I did not realise that the workaround that you found was available. I shall say no more than that because I think you could present that on the forum here, perhaps under the "Essential Guides" heading ? I think it would make a good read.

My Brother-in-Law finally passed away just after Christmas (Prostate Cancer/Leukaemia if you remember.)

Had a nice communication from Catgate. Andsome is busy setting traps on his vegetable plot by now I should think.

If you take the block off of your phone that allows me to reverse transfer the phone charges to your billing system once again I will ring you. :lol:

(I thought that just a tad mean on your part old boy. :glare: )

Luv to 'er indoors innit.

:D

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John

You have blown our cover - you have just told the world that catgate, andsome, you and me communicate and have a life away from the forum. We used to be the backbone of the lounge and jokes forum which has now gone limp since we all departed - a state I envy.

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You have blown our cover

Personally. I just came to the stage where I had an overwhelming urge to expose myself.

If one decides to expose parts of their personal lives, please cover it with arrows or other appropriate material. :)

Those two could probably use thimbles

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