New competition

[artist]

With a mind like a planet you'd think

He'd give more than a nod and a wink

To a clever new posting

This Forum is hosting

He's enough to drive us to drink

When will andsome compile some new verse

Whether wordy or just very terse

It doesn't much matter

He's as mad as a hatter

With some interests very perverse

He's anti blonde, anti Bush, anti Blair

But with a passion for a nice rounded pair

He's a funny old chap

So lets give him a clap

Lets pretend that we all have a care.

GOSH!!!!! :Cool Smile:

[catgate]

With a quote, from a copy, and paste

One can fill a page neatly, with haste,

But without just one rhyme

Its all wasting time

And one's reputation's debased

[dadyassa]

By beauty I am not a star.

There are others more ANDSOME by far.

My face I don't mind it.

because I'm behind it.

It's the people in front that I jar.

[dadyassa]

Andsome was from the sticks

He liked to write limericks.

But he failed at the sport,

Cos he wrote them too short.

[pwp]

dadyassa's a cuddly bear

in Spain he has his lair

in his profile he can't ride a bike

he'd be better off with a trike

and his clothes would get less wear and tear

[dadyassa]

dadyassa's a cuddly bear

in Spain he has his lair

in his profile he can't ride a bike

he'd be better off with a trike

and his clothes would get less wear and tear

:Cool Big Smile: :Cool Big Smile: :Cool Big Smile:

[andsome]

There was a young girl from Cape Cod,

Who thought babies came only from God.

T'wasn't the Almighty

Who lifted her nightie.

T'was Roger the Lodger by god!

[andsome]

There once was a pirate (the story relates)

who liked to go dancing on roller skates.

He fell on his cutlass

which rendered him nutless

and virtually useless on dates.

[AlanHo]

Because andsome is clever and bright

He can travel much faster than light

He set out one day

in a relative way

and came back the previous night

[andsome]

Because andsome is clever and bright

He can travel much faster than light

He set out one day

in a relative way

and came back the previous night

Easy for a super hero like me of course.

[AlanHo]

GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS

A Limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem.

The pattern of the rhyme is a - a - b - b - a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats, usually of 8 or 9 syllables and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats usually of 5 or 6 syllables and rhyming.

Example

There was a young girl from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass

Not pretty and pink

As you probably think

It was grey, had long ears and ate grass

Although it is generally believed that Edward Lear devised the Limerick, it is nevertheless a fact that the five-line poem was around long before he made popular his nonsense verse. Some claim that the Limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

Limericks are meant to be funny. They often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and other figurative devices. The last line of a good limerick contains the 'punch line' or 'heart' of the joke.

Limericks are intended to be 'fun' rhymes. Enjoy the rhythm as well as the words as you read each line.

Now we need some limericks containing onomatopoeia - it will probably need help from someone with a brain the size of a planet.

[catgate]

onomatopoeia

Yes..our neighbour once had a young pup that was one of these. That's why they called it Puddles.

Yesterday, whilst I was chewing some fudge

I found that my jaw wouldn't budge

So I took out my teeth

And and looked underneath.

My clack hole was bunged up with sludge.

Edit:-

I am so glad the matter of Iambic Pentameters has not been raised because I have never heard of them, although I am sure they are not contagous and I beleive the swelling usually goes down in a matter of days.

Any way who wants smilable clickies.

[andsome]

This is all getting very technical

[catgate]

An Iambic Pentameter said

As it slowly got into its bed

"It would be much neater,

Since I am meter,

To 'do' gas and water instead."

The Iambic Pentameter's nurse

Said,"Your health is getting much worse,

I'll bet you a shillin'

You need penicillin,

To takin' it you are averse."

[AlanHo]

The Iambic Pentameter said

I'm bunged up with verse in me 'ed

Despite rhyming tonic

This disease is too cronic

I reckon I'll finish up dead

[catgate]

The Iambic Pentameter cried,

"I've tried and I've tried and I've tried

I think it is best

If I have a rest."

And with that he lay down and died.

[Devanski]

The iambic pentameter is dead

At least that is what I have read

but don't stop the post

Cos all is not lost

We can use trochee or enjambement instead

[AlanHo]

This thread is becoming perverse

With stressed syllables being reversed

With iambic now dead

We have trochee instead

To which I am very averse.

[catgate]

Whilst playing a quick game of croquet

I was smitten quite hard by a trochee

As I fell to the ground

I quickly looked round

They were dancing the old Hokeycokey.

[Devanski]

With a mallet in hand

And some strange trochee band

I was beginning to feel

It was all too surreal

So I felt I must make this stand

It is time to turn it around

Get our feet back on the ground

And allow all forum folks

To join in with some jokes

Of which, I am sure there are many abound

[pwp]

this thread is on to page five

I'm surprised it's still alive

the limericks are quite thin

only fit for the bin

for better things you must strive

[catgate]

I find this a terrible strain

Starting all this up over again

So with a good heart

Lets make a new start

Abjuring words faintly arcane.

Try

Whilst cycling down into town

etc

[Gandalph]

I'll get my coat. :blush:

[AlanHo]

I find this a terrible strain

Starting all this up over again

So with a good heart

Lets make a new start

Abjuring words faintly arcane.

Try

Whilst cycling down into town

etc

Whilst cycling down into town

I met the daughter of vicar Brown

[pwp]

I find this a terrible strain

Starting all this up over again

So with a good heart

Lets make a new start

Abjuring words faintly arcane.

Try

Whilst cycling down into town

etc

Whilst cycling down into town

I met the daughter of vicar Brown

Whilst cycling down into town

I met the daughter of vicar Brown

giving kisses for free