AlanHo Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 I don't care what nationality it is - the damned thing has got me in a double front twisted crab leg lock, is showing its teeth, has a warped smile on its face and is growling in a Welsh accent.You can ask it whether it's English or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapins Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 I don't care what nationality it is - the damned thing has got me in a double front twisted crab leg lock, is showing its teeth, has a warped smile on its face and is growling in a Welsh accent.You can ask it whether it's English or not.A Welsh accent, it's an impostor, throw it out and get an ENGLISH Setter, very docile, obedient and affectionate in a proper manner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 You leave that dog alone - I like him!So now we've got an entertainer - this lot will want more than a song Nell. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 How about entertainment? I volunteer to do a turn on a Saturday night! ;)Poll for the pub name is herePLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Can we keep this as a quiet old fashioned English or perhaps I should say British pub. No inane acts or juke boxes, or piped music. Let's have a nice quiet watering hole where we can hear ourselves chat. What's the use of a log fire and nice furniture, if we are going to encourage all the lager drinking louts in to listen to yelling and shouting acts, or juke boxes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 ANNOUNCEMENTSNOOKERWe are pleased to report that Old Ned has just broken the pub snooker record with a break of 8. He potted a red which had been left lying over the centre pocket and then took on a difficult black that was three inches from a corner pocket with the white ball 12 inches away and almost dead in line. Such was the tension in the crowd of 3 people watching - you could have heard a pin drop. He was not able to continue the break because he snookered himself by finishing behind his own elbow.SATURDAY ENTERTAINMENTWe are priviliged to have Nellie join us for a selection of Vera Lynn songs including :-Bless Em AllLay Down Your ArmsWhale Meat Again. CHRISTMAS CLUBJoin our Christmas club - it only costs £5 per week which will pay for a special mince pie and chips Christmas dinner for you and one guest. Any money left over will be used to bolster the Landlord's welfare fund. See the barmaid for more detailsSPORTS NEWSThos is looking for volunteers for the pub cricket team. Preference will be given to applicants with their own bat and balls. Ladies need not apply.ANIMAL WELFAREWe need a skilled and cheap dog trainer to tackle an over sexed and errant Setter of indeterminate birth. Preference will be given to someone who has watched the recent dog training TV programmes and who has his own crowbar and naughty chair or dog basket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 ANNOUNCEMENTSPORTS NEWS Ladies need not apply.Why not??? ANIMAL WELFAREWe need a skilled and cheap dog trainer to tackle an over sexed and errant Setter of indeterminate birth. Preference will be given to someone who has watched the recent dog training TV programmes and who has his own crowbar and naughty chair or dog basket.Any harm come to that dog and I'll get the bouncers on you!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Any harm come to that dog and I'll get the bouncers on you!! :)That's my girl - you really know how to give a chap black eyes......anything but the briar patch (as brer rabbit would say)..... :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 I have just come across a matter which we have totally overlooked in our enthusiasm. Perhaps it should be sorted out before we get too far.http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2bf0ceca-6d0a-11db...00779e2340.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 I have just come across a matter which we have totally overlooked in our enthusiasm. Perhaps it should be sorted out before we get too far.http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2bf0ceca-6d0a-11db...00779e2340.htmlThanks for the thought - but my advisors tell me it is nothing to worry about. If we got a VAT bill - it would only be a virtual one and we would not be liable to pay it because it would be a virtual nonsense and virtually of no value. In any event - we are unlikely to host any of the Olympic games - unless they introduce beer swilling as a championship sport - in which case we will have to ask members for their qualifications to enter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Count me out for Saturday nights, I prefer peace and quiet and a cosy chat. :D Regarding the possibility of VAT. It maybe a virtual pub, but knowing comrade Gordon, he will still insist on his pound of flesh. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Thanks for the thought - but my advisors tell me it is nothing to worry about. If we got a VAT bill - it would only be a virtual one and we would not be liable to pay it because it would be a virtual nonsense and virtually of no value.I'll bet there are others who would be glad to have advisors like yours :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 This will be good practice for some customersClick here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Test barmaid outfit 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Test barmaid outfit 2That'll do fine. WOWEE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 This is more like I originally envisaged - but yours is slightly better. But perhaps you would prefer this one - but is the hair the right shadeOr - to be even more provocative Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 This is more like I originally envisaged - but yours is slightly better. She looks like my neighbour......... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandalph Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 This is more like I originally envisaged - but yours is slightly better. She looks like my neighbour......... :D:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 I was thinking along the lines of this sort of barmaid. Not a bit like artist though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 I think we all recognise that Artist is a lady of excellent taste and it is rather presumptuous of us chaps to try and influence how she should dress. If she changes her attire as regularly as she changes her avatar we will be able to sit at the bar sipping our pints and watch the ever changing scenery.I'll have a pint of old speckled hen please artist - but don't hurry - I have plenty of time. Oh - and by the way - please have one yourself. This long haired shaggy setter is getting a bit tiresome - its fur needs a good trimming so you can tell which end to kick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapins Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 I'll have a pint of old speckled hen please artist - but don't hurry - I have plenty of time. Oh - and by the way - please have one yourself. As founder of this illustrious pub shouldn't you be buying the first round for everyone? I'll certainly expect a pint of real ale when I deliver the garden furniture this Friday morning at 10-49am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimv7 Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 There can only be 1 name for this pub............The Forum Inn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 I suppose you are either for 'em - or against 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 There can only be 1 name for this pub............The Forum InnI suspect you are trying to organise a Roman Orgy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 8, 2006 Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 There can only be 1 name for this pub............The Forum InnI suspect you are trying to organise a Roman Orgy.That certainly sounds better than noisy acts on a Saturday night. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.