AlanHo Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I have noticed over the past few weeks that the number of postings to the forum has dropped away - we have averaged only 26 per day over the last month. When I raised this issue in a separate thread a few months ago it was felt that holidays, global warming and Mr Blair were the main factors for our demise. However, with the holiday season over, the arrival of frosty mornings and Mr Blair being sidelined, that can no longer be the case.I think it is because forum members lack a nice cosy place to meet, such as our own local virtual pub. If we all co-operate we could build a nice welcoming snug and get the conversation flowing again.Can I get things started by suggesting that we build it next to a river or canal so we can have a patio with splendid views to enjoy the odd pint - or cup of coffee - whilst watching the boats drift on by. For the benefit of andsome we would need to provide a bowling green at the rear of the pub - but we need a volunteer to cut the grass regularly and kill off the moles. I suggest we avoid a thatched roof - too costly to insure and maintain - perhaps tankus would feel more at home if it had a Welsh slate tiled roof.It's your turn to add something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapins Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Could we have some chairs on the patio, I don't fancy joining a splinter group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 It would have to stock only real ale, non of this forced gassed keg rubbish. The bowling green would have to CROWN GREEN, :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Could we have some chairs on the patio, I don't fancy joining a splinter group.You could nip down to IKEA and get a few flat packs of their plastic chairs.It will keep you out of mischief for a few hours assembling them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D4\/!d Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Here's a quick-half. How about this:worlds first Inflatable Pub Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 It would have to stock only real ale, non of this forced gassed keg rubbish. The bowling green would have to CROWN GREEN, :DOK crown green it is to ensure your balls dont roll in a straight line.However - restricting the beers to real ales might put off some of our younger members who prefer to drink hop flavoured water from botttles or kegs. A good pub should cater for all tastes - including a lime juice dispenser for those unable to drink neat lager.The pub will need a friendly cat in the bar - any preferences for the breed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I was going to suggest a lion, but in deference to ansome I suggest it is an inflatable tabby to go with DaViD's inflatable pub, and also to suit ansome's tatse, I suggest an inflatable barmaid.Edit:-But definitely not inflatable prices (not even Blodwin or Trefor). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 You can huff and puff all you like - all this talk of inflatables is a load of hot air.What is wrong with English oak frames with wattle and daub infill, bottle glass windows and a thick creaking elm door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Great post. :) The seating, beer and barmaid having been dealt with, what about the food. None of this Gastro-pub nonsense, but real pub food, saugages, scotch eggs, pickles with a vegetarian option or two.(And a mirror for andsome to look at himself frequently)Thos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 How about large dinner plate sized hollow Yorkshire puddings filled with onion gravy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I don't think that the seating in the bar has been dealt with - neither has anyone suggested the type of tables. I would suggest a mixture of padded bench type seats upholstered with red and black material and old fashioned straight back chairs with uneven legs so they rock and entertain customers who try and use bits of beer mats to steady them.As for the barmaid - an inflatable one will just not do. I want a real old fashioned publican's wife with a florid complexion, gouty nose and a laugh like a sick horse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 As for the barmaid - an inflatable one will just not do. I want a real old fashioned publican's wife with a florid complexion, gouty nose and a laugh like a sick horse.None of that applies to me - but I'll be the barmaid if you like - you'd be better off having me as the cook though.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 You can huff and puff all you like - all this talk of inflatables is a load of hot air.What about an inflatable dart board???Thos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 What about an inflatable dart board???Thos.You can buy one for us - since it was your ideaAim here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapins Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Could we have some chairs on the patio, I don't fancy joining a splinter group.You could nip down to IKEA and get a few flat packs of their plastic chairs.It will keep you out of mischief for a few hours assembling them.IbloodyKEA in our traditional pub, I have at this moment started to make genuine old fashioned wooden patio furniture which will be ready to use before you can say mines a pint. Who is organising collection from my virtual workshop?Oh! and I would like a English Setter quietly sleeping in front of the log fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Oh! and I would like a English Setter quietly sleeping in front of the log fire.If a Red Setter would be acceptable I could supply an old Strawberry Jelly with an expired "use by" date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 It would have to stock only real ale, non of this forced gassed keg rubbish. The bowling green would have to CROWN GREEN, :DOK crown green it is to ensure your balls dont roll in a straight line.However - restricting the beers to real ales might put off some of our younger members who prefer to drink hop flavoured water from botttles or kegs. A good pub should cater for all tastes - including a lime juice dispenser for those unable to drink neat lager.The pub will need a friendly cat in the bar - any preferences for the breed.OK then,but no American rubbish.How about a CATerpillar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie2 Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Please can we have a real log fire for the winter months.... and patio heaters for when the fun spills out of the main bar and into the pub garden.A nice country lane close by for strolling down and chatting as you stroll would be nice too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Please can we have a real log fire for the winter months.... and patio heaters for when the fun spills out of the main bar and into the pub garden.A nice country lane close by for strolling down and chatting as you stroll would be nice too.Haven't you heard about climate change? A log fire is bad enough, but just about acceptable. Patio heaters are an obscene waste of fuel resources. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie2 Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Ok, I'm quite happy with virtual patio heaters and lamps and stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Ok, I'm quite happy with virtual patio heaters and lamps and stuffGood girl. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 An Inglenook fireplace - where some of us oldies can sit and make toast using toasting forks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Nobody has mentioned a bowl of snuff on the bar - and strategically placed spitoons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapins Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Oh! and I would like a English Setter quietly sleeping in front of the log fire.If a Red Setter would be acceptable I could supply an old Strawberry Jelly with an expired "use by" date.If you mention custard I will get a trifle annoyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 4, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Not a bad effort for one day in building a virtual pub from scratch.We have so far created a timber framed, slate roofed building alongside a river. We have a nice patio with patio heaters and cheap plastic chairs pending the arrival of some genuine sapins wooden furniture.The bar has a resident cat and a red setter snoozing in front of an inglenook log burning fireplace when it is not pushed aside by a hungry old wrinkly anxious to toast his bread or backside.The dartboard is inflatable - at which you throw rubber sucker tipped darts in accordance with the latest Brussels 'elf 'n safety regulations. There is a free supply of snuff and some spitoons which have been there so long they resemble the botanical gardens.Artist is behind the bar - when she is not slaving in the kitchen preparing yorkshire puddings, sausages, scotch eggs etc - fending off the attention being given to her by certain customers attracted by her golden hair and tight low cut jumper. She is dispensing proper real ales to the choosy and commercial hop water to the thirsty. We are fortunate in having pops as a back up and doug as the bookies runner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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