AlanHo Posted March 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2007 I have had to call the fire brigade to get an Irishman off the pub roof.It transpires that artist told him the drinks were on the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted March 16, 2007 Report Share Posted March 16, 2007 I have had to call the fire brigade to get an Irishman off the pub roof. It transpires that artist told him the drinks were on the house. :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted March 16, 2007 Report Share Posted March 16, 2007 I have had to call the fire brigade to get an Irishman off the pub roof.It transpires that artist told him the drinks were on the house. :lol: You pub landlords really have to keep your eyes open.Thos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted May 9, 2007 Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 It's been a bit quiet in here for a while. Must be holidays and things.....Whose round is it? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted May 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 Its been closed for refurbishment.We have laid new straw and sand on the floor of the gents snug, emptied the spitoons and replenished the bowls of snuff on the bar.The imminent no smoking law will make things a lot safer - all too often people thought the guys were country dancing - whereas they were actually trying to stamp out the fire in the straw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted May 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 Got chatting today with a really old chap in the lounge bar. He reckons he made his money out of being the inventor of crosswords.I can't remember his name - it was P something T something R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted May 9, 2007 Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 Its been closed for refurbishment.We have laid new straw and sand on the floor of the gents snug, emptied the spitoons and replenished the bowls of snuff on the bar.The imminent no smoking law will make things a lot safer - all too often people thought the guys were country dancing - whereas they were actually trying to stamp out the fire in the straw.Hooray! They say there's nothing like a converted smoker and I am living proof of that. :D . I used to smoke 30+ a day. Having stopped completely on June 9th 1986, I am now a confirmed anti smoker.I didn't stop drinking though. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted May 9, 2007 Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 Got chatting today with a really old chap in the lounge bar. He reckons he made his money out of being the inventor of crosswords.I can't remember his name - it was P something T something R. :lol: :lol: You meet some real characters in here don't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 I got taken for a ride this lunchtime by a couple of wise guys who came into my pub for a drink. They called me over and asked me to settle an argument. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one. "There be two pints in a quart," I confirmed.They moved back to the far end of the bar and Artist the barmaid asked for their order. "Two pints please, miss. They are on the house - the landlord offered to buy them for us." Artist was a bit dubious that I would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to me from the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?" "That's right," I called back. "Two pints." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Like it. :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Just noticed we have had 5870 visitors to the pub since it first opened.No wonder the carpets are looking a bit worn and the spitoons need emptying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Just noticed we have had 5870 visitors to the pub since it first opened.No wonder the carpets are looking a bit worn and the spitoons need emptying.The toilets are not very clean at present either. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Were we affected by the floods? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 The toilets are not very clean at present either. :DWere we affected by the floods?andsome forgot to lift the toilet seat again....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 The toilets are not very clean at present either. :DWere we affected by the floods?andsome forgot to lift the toilet seat again.......I was in a hurry. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted August 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2007 A man came into the pub today with a steering wheel in his trousers...Artist asked him if it was painful"It's driving me nuts!" the man replied Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 A man came into the pub today with a steering wheel in his trousers... Artist asked him if it was painful. "It's driving me nuts!" the man replied :lol: .. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 A man came into the pub today with a steering wheel in his trousers...Artist asked him if it was painful"It's driving me nuts!" the man repliedGROAN!. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 The pub's still open Irene. Pop in for one on the house.I haven't been about much lately because of an embarrassing malady.For months I have suffered from intestinal wind which has got steadily worse and more embarrassing. It started off with mild and unobtrusive phut-phuts which went through woooosh and raspberry stages, then a roar until they eventually sounded for all the World like “HONDA-HONDA-HONDA. The doctor told me to give up booze in an attempt to cure the problem - but it seems to have made it worse.My only logical conclusion is that "its abstinence that makes the fart go HONDA” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted November 15, 2007 Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 Wicked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 15, 2007 Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 Yet another GROAN. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 Yet another GROAN. :lol:We don't like to hear people moaning and groaning in the pub - it puts other customers off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted November 15, 2007 Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 :lol: :lol: It's good to see you back again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 :lol: :lol: It's good to see you back again!Well thank you Irene - it's nice to see you in here again - especially since it's your forum first anniversary.Better stand back though - still got a grotty stomach. This African guy was in here yesterday and he gave me a thin strip of zebra leather to chew on as a cure.I finished eating it today. Needless to say - the thong is ended, but the malady lingers on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted November 15, 2007 Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 :lol:It's good to see you back again!Well thank you Irene - it's nice to see you in here again - especially since it's your forum first anniversary.Better stand back though - still got a grotty stomach. This African guy was in here yesterday and he gave me a thin strip of zebra leather to chew on as a cure.I finished eating it today. Needless to say - the thong is ended, but the malady lingers on I'll be certain to stand up, not down wind. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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