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T'was the night before Xmas


AlanHo
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I take my hat off to your skills

Your way with words and rhyme

'Tis well known it's the pen that kills

And damages more in time.

But you have a sparkling wit,

Knowing just how far to go;

With a fluent pen and using it

To delight us daily; AlanHo. :flowers:

I really don't know what to say

Your lovely verse has made my day

A lady with poetic skills

I think I'm in love :rolleyes: (must take my pills).......

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I take my hat off to your skills

Your way with words and rhyme

'Tis well known it's the pen that kills

And damages more in time.

But you have a sparkling wit,

Knowing just how far to go;

With a fluent pen and using it

To delight us daily; AlanHo. :flowers:

I really don't know what to say

Your lovely verse has made my day

A lady with poetic skills

I think I'm in love :rolleyes: (must take my pills).......

:( :cray:

I've done poems before - I never got that response..........

S'not fair!

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'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat

The girls from the forum came to give me a treat

I bolted the door – took the phone off the hook

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

I went to the cellar – got some really good wine

Cuz I was determined to have a good time

The girls got all Giggly – and so did I

When from outside the pub there arose such a cry,

Up to the window I sprang like a hare

Tore back the shade to see what was there

The moon looked down on us so bright and so high

But what’s on that cloud sitting there in the sky ..?

From the cloud, bouncing wildly, there should appear,

A rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,

A glass in his hand filled with wine what was red.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Blitzer whoa Dancer, whoa Rudolph, whoa Putz,

Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,

Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post on the way to the pub,

Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,

As each little reindeer’s feet went pitter patter.

Santa’s language was awful – really quite brash

When down the chimney he came with a crash.

He staggered into the kitchen, poured himself a stiff drink,

Then climbed on the stool and pee'd in the sink.

The girls were all laughing and giggling with glee

The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

He gave the girls presents and then took his leave,

After wiping his nose upon his left sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,

So he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,

Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,

"The best thing about Xmas is it never wears out!"

My evening was ruined – but the girls were amused

It was clear that my advances would soon be refused

It’s the last time I invite Santa round to the pub

(I wonder if the girls would give that sink a good scrub)

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Artist don't reject me - it was only a joke

I happen to be one of those flippant type folk

If you want roses are red and violets are blue

It's sloppy I know - but I'll do it for you.

You have such a way with words, I'll bet you've charmed all the girls in your time. :rolleyes:

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