christmascracker Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 I got this from my ma-in-law by email yesterday - supposed to be true :o A bloke and his family were on holidays in the United States and went to Mexico for a week.An avid cactus fan, the man bought a one-metre high, rare and expensive cactus there. On arrival back home Australian Customs said it must be quarantined for 3 months. He finally got his cactus home. Planted it in his backyard, and over time it grew to about 2 metres. One evening while watering his garden after a warm spring day, he gave the cactus a light spray.He was amazed to see the plant shiver all over, he gave it another spray and it shivered again. He was puzzled so he rang the council who put him on to the state gardens people. After a few transfers he got the state's foremost cactus expert who asked him many questions. How Tall is it? Has it flowered? etc. Finally he asked the most disturbing question. "Is your family in the house?" The bloke answered yes. The cactus expert said get out of the house NOW, get on to the front nature strip and wait for me, I will be there in 20 minutes. Fifteen minutes later, 2 fire trucks, 2 police cars and an ambulance came screaming around the corner. A fireman got out and asked "Are you the bloke with the cactus?" I am, he said. A guy jumped out of the fire truck wearing what looked like a space suit, a breathing cylinder and mask attached to what looked like a scuba backpack with a large hose attached. He headed for the backyard and turned a flame-thrower on the cactus spraying it up and down. and spitting, half the fence was burnt and parts of the gardens were well and truly scorched. Just then the cactus expert appeared and laid a calming hand on the bloke's shoulder. "What the hell's going on?" he says. "Let me show you" says the cactus man. He went over to the cactus and picked away a crusty bit, the cactus was almost entirely hollow and filled with tiger striped bird-eating tarantula spiders, each about the size of two hand spans. The story was that this type of spider lays eggs in this type of cactus and they hatch and live in it as they grow to full size. When full size they release themselves.The cactus just explodes and about 150 dinner plate sized hairy spiders are flung from it, dispersing everywhere. They had been ready to pop. The aftermath was that the house and the adjoining houses had to be vacated and fumigated: police tape was put up outside the whole area and no one was allowed in for two weeks. And here's what one looks like sitting on a full size dinner plate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelOfSalvation Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 Wow...that's a big spider... :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christmascracker Posted October 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 Wow...that's a big spider... :unsure:Your telling me..........I hate them, I had to post that picci with my eyes shut :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarecrow Man Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 YIKES! I Love spiders, but that bugger is nasty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelOfSalvation Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 YIKES! I Love spiders, but that bugger is nasty!I know what you mean. I don't mind spiders, but that thing is just creepy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Besty Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 Holy moley. Hi mum happy mothers day I got this lovely cactus for you in the states. It will sit nicely in that corner in your bedroom :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarecrow Man Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 Holy moley. Hi mum happy mothers day I got this lovely cactus for you in the states. It will sit nicely in that corner in your bedroom :unsure: :rolleyes: Don't you dare.... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Besty Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 Well maby wen i move out of the hjouse. Im in the bedroom beside hers and i dont want one of them bas..... crawling under my door at night. Have you seen 8 legged freaks!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarecrow Man Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 No, but I've seen Arachniphobia :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lester1 Posted October 7, 2004 Report Share Posted October 7, 2004 I live in Northumberland, you know up north! too cold for the buggers :D Mind you Alan Tichmarch recons that we used to be tropical a couple of million years ago :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 I may be the andsomest bloke on the forum, with a brain the size of a planet, extremely modest as well, BUT I AM SCARED STIFF OF SPIDERS. When one of those big hairy ones runs across the floor, I just pull my feet up from off the floor, and wait while 'Er indoors removes it. If she's out I cautiously approach it with the vacuum cleaner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Surely with a Brain the size of a Planet you'd be too big to hide inside a little old vacuum cleaner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cd108 Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Im terrefied off even the little local ones we get, try stamping on that one ! he can prolly catch ya foot wink at ya and dare you to try again. Instant heart attack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christmascracker Posted October 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 I may be the andsomest bloke on the forum, with a brain the size of a planet, extremely modest as well, BUT I AM SCARED STIFF OF SPIDERS. When one of those big hairy ones runs across the floor, I just pull my feet up from off the floor, and wait while 'Er indoors removes it. If she's out I cautiously approach it with the vacuum cleaner.That's exactly what I do andsome, hoover it up.I have been known to chuck a big heavy book on one and leave it there until hubby comes home :rolleyes: They are the only crawlies I'm like that with, I can pick up all sorts of others but NOT spiders.Silly thing is, I held a tarantula once...............I wasn't exactly sober at the time though :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expertec Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Tarantulas aren't dangerous.I hate spiders too, BTW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cd108 Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Its been clinically proven that all spiders including tarantulas are dangerouse and nothing you or anyone else can say will convice me otherwise, Ive seen em gang up with my own eyes and carry off babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Surely with a Brain the size of a Planet you'd be too big to hide inside a little old vacuum cleaner?The spider goes up the vacuum cleaner. I could probably draw a diagram if you like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark2 Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 I don't worry about spiders I can see, but a week ago I had to get into a car with a spiders web running from the steering wheel to the rear seat behind the driver's and no sign of where the beggar was :blink: The general consensus was as the oldest I should drive the car into the workshop as I didn't have long left anyway, they were all cowards :D when we found him he was only 2cm acrossI obviously wasn't considered a good enough meal by the spider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 when we found him he was only 2cm across.THAT IS GINORMOUS. UGH!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark2 Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 I could run from that one, it's the ones that sit in the bathroom and wink at me whilst licking their lips that really bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r4may Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 They are not pretty and they scare a lot of people but they do keep the bugs down.At least in the UK they are not dangerous. I'm always having to 'put them out' for 'her indoors' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 It's when they run accross the carpet at almost the speed of sound that I get the wind up. ( Now wait for the wind jokes) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rong Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 I think its disgusting that grown up people (?) are treating these inoffensive little creatures so inhumanly as to suck them up a vacuum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 I think its disgusting that grown up people (?) are treating these inoffensive little creatures so inhumanly as to suck them up a vacuum.Is this the first wind joke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christmascracker Posted October 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Do any of you remember Itsy and Bitsy?They were sort of hand puppets on a kiddies show years ago. Anyway, if real spiders looked like them I wouldn't be scared of them :blush: http://www.toonhound.com/itsybitsy.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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