Jump to content

New Labour Honours


AlanHo
 Share

Recommended Posts

I realise it may seem a bit naff to you ordinary folk - but I have decided to get a peerage or perhaps even a knighthood.

I have sent off a cheque for £100 to that nice and accomodating Mr Blair as my contribution to New Labour together with my full details so they may be included in the next honours list.

When my honour is bestowed - I will expect you lot to refer to me either as Lord or sir AlanHo - I will change my avatar accordingly.

Watch this space. :rtfm:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was going to recommend you as recognition for your services to Northern running - but since you have been so sarcastic I have crossed you off my list.

I am also planning to recommend andsome for an honour to recognise his support of the government - but if he gives me any lip he will get crossed off the list as well.

Artist gets a special mention however - she is so tolerant of us blokes she deserves some recognition at last. There is nothing like a dame........................

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spoilsports - I wish I knew what the Forum Spoiler Tags were all about. You would get one each. :ranting:

You were not thinking about organising a Windows Forum Tag Team Spoiling Match, were you? It could be good fun. We already have a Shirley Crabtree, we just need a Giant Haystacks and we are off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oooo - I'd love a lord!

You shouldn't have too long to wait - my donation was by my standards very generous and I am destined to soon join the esteemed ranks of all the other people who made donations to New Labour and were rewarded with honours for their squalid sucking up.

By the way - you did throw a kiss on my monitor. :wub:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have found that trying to get anything out of this lot is hopeless. I applied to Two Jags several years ago for funding to develop the ultimate road safety device. It would be totally impossible to have an road accident if my device were developed. All I got back was a load of waffle about them not funding this sort of thing and I should apply to a venture capital company.

My device was a certain winner. The principal was that at the point where one would start to release the clutch, immediately after starting the engine and engaging bottom gear, a door on a compartment in the dash would open and out would come an artificial hand. This hand would then reach over and turn off the ignition, just before the hand brake was released.

I got a similar response from the Lottery Charity when I applied for funding to travel the world looking for genetically abnormal frogs to be used in my scheme to breed multilegged frogs for the French market.

It's an uphill struggle.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got a similar response from the Lottery Charity when I applied for funding to travel the world looking for genetically abnormal frogs to be used in my scheme to breed multilegged frogs for the French market.

It's an uphill struggle.

If you don't mind me saying so - multi legged frogs is a bit of a dumb idea - you would never be able to catch them. They would be able to keep one jump ahead of you.

No wonder those sensible chaps at the Lottery turned you down to reserve funds for far more deserving cases - like one armed lesbian caber tossing in Scotland.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you don't mind me saying so - multi legged frogs is a bit of a dumb idea - you would never be able to catch them. They would be able to keep one jump ahead of you.

I had thought of that one and worked out the solution.

I was going to breed half of them with all left legs and half of them with all right legs. That way they would just spin in circles.

Once initiated this would become genetically imprinted, due to the fact that a left handed spinner would, under no circumstances be able to breed with a right handed spinner, and vicky vercky.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you don't mind me saying so - multi legged frogs is a bit of a dumb idea - you would never be able to catch them. They would be able to keep one jump ahead of you.

I had thought of that one and worked out the solution.

I was going to breed half of them with all left legs and half of them with all right legs. That way they would just spin in circles.

Once initiated this would become genetically imprinted, due to the fact that a left handed spinner would, under no circumstances be able to breed with a right handed spinner, and vicky vercky.

Absolute genius - you deserve recognition, you really do!

:clapping:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I realise it may seem a bit naff to you ordinary folk - but I have decided to get a peerage or perhaps even a knighthood.

I have sent off a cheque for £100 to that nice and accomodating Mr Blair as my contribution to New Labour together with my full details so they may be included in the next honours list.

When my honour is bestowed - I will expect you lot to refer to me either as Lord or sir AlanHo - I will change my avatar accordingly.

Watch this space. :rtfm:

Lord Ho of Solihull, nah....doesn't sound right to me. and remember...

Once a Lord always a Lord, but once a Knight is enough. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I realise it may seem a bit naff to you ordinary folk - but I have decided to get a peerage or perhaps even a knighthood.

I have sent off a cheque for £100 to that nice and accomodating Mr Blair as my contribution to New Labour together with my full details so they may be included in the next honours list.

When my honour is bestowed - I will expect you lot to refer to me either as Lord or sir AlanHo - I will change my avatar accordingly.

Watch this space. :rtfm:

Lord Ho of Solihull, nah....doesn't sound right to me. and remember...

Once a Lord always a Lord, but once a night is enough. :D

Speak for yourself. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I realise it may seem a bit naff to you ordinary folk - but I have decided to get a peerage or perhaps even a knighthood.

I have sent off a cheque for £100 to that nice and accomodating Mr Blair as my contribution to New Labour together with my full details so they may be included in the next honours list.

When my honour is bestowed - I will expect you lot to refer to me either as Lord or sir AlanHo - I will change my avatar accordingly.

Watch this space. :rtfm:

Lord Ho of Solihull, nah....doesn't sound right to me. and remember...

Once a Lord always a Lord, but once a Knight is enough. :D

Not for every one, twice Knightly is better. :P :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Privacy Policy