catgate Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Just what i wanted nice pint and a quiet read, long way home though any chance of B&B.. I'm sure we could find you a room........Would that be 2 single or 1 double?? :)Just make sure he's not that commercial traveller that stars in so many of those old tales.You remember .."Do you want our eiderdown?" " No thanks she's been down three times already" ...etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Just make sure he's not that commercial traveller that stars in so many of those old tales.According to my Acme Encyclopedia of Jokes - commercial travellers prefer to stay at remote farms where the farmer has at least one attractive daughter.Hence I think you will be OK artist - but the guy was alone - why offer a double room...???..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Hence I think you will be OK artist - but the guy was alone - why offer a double room...???..... Makes you wonder what she has in mind. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Makes you wonder what she has in mind. :Lil:I hasten to add that I was not in any way implying anything - I just wondered how Artist's perspicacity had enabled her to recognise that the guy needed a double room. I am sure she possesses the perspicuity to explain things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Makes you wonder what she has in mind. :lol:I hasten to add that I was not in any way implying anything - I just wondered how Artist's perspicacity had enabled her to recognised that the guy needed a double room. I am sure she posses the perspicuity to explain things. I really don't think we should pry. I can't help wondering what she has in mind, but really we shouldn't ask for an explanation. Surely if she has become a loose woman it is her business and not ours. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 I really don't think we should pry. I can't help wondering what she has in mind, but really we shouldn't ask for an explanation. Surely if she has become a loose woman it is her business and not ours. :DOh dear - if I was Artist I would spit in your beer - or even worse. Just because she is a barmaid and cook does not give you the right to make aspersions on her character. She is a lovely lass and we are priviliged to have her on the staff..... I think you need to be read the riot act Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 As the landlord (my boss - but only in the pub..........) I thank you for defending my honour. :) I have a secret passion and he is not it. I have read the interests of the said client and his main interest is 'family' - so I assume he will be bringing his wife. I suppose I could be wrong - The lady may not be his wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 I really don't think we should pry. I can't help wondering what she has in mind, but really we shouldn't ask for an explanation. Surely if she has become a loose woman it is her business and not ours. :DOh dear - if I was Artist I would spit in your beer - or even worse. Just because she is a barmaid and cook does not give you the right to make aspersions on her character. She is a lovely lass and we are priviliged to have her on the staff..... I think you need to be read the riot act Ah now, I made no accusations at all, I merely hinted that JUST IN CASE, we should not pry.As the landlord (my boss - but only in the pub..........) I thank you for defending my honour. :) I have a secret passion and he is not it. I have read the interests of the said client and his main interest is 'family' - so I assume he will be bringing his wife. I suppose I could be wrong - The lady may not be his wife. Now now, YOU are casting aspersions. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pacman123 Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Thank you Artist a double would be very nice, and yes the lady with me would be my dear wife...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Thank you Artist a double would be very nice, and yes the lady with me would be my dear wife...... Bloody trouble maker - you would have saved a lot of anguish if you had owned up before.Now poor old andsome has got to make a public apology to Artist......... :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Now poor old andsome has got to make a public apology to Artist......... :lol: :lol: :lol:That'll be the day! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 I've had a stroke of luck and got an order for 2 barrels of lager.One of the village lads was nagged into getting a new bed by his wife - and he bought a water bed.She was upset because she wanted a foam mattress so he is going to fill it with beer.**************************************Alf was in the bar again tonight - a strange bloke who suffers from delusions.Tonight he started off standing on a table and singing opera in a falsetto voice as loud as he could - then he was holding out his arms horizontally and "flying" round the bar making aeroplane noises. Most people in the bar were regulars and used to it - but strangers must have wondered what was going on.The regulars had seen it so many times they had concluded that when so intoxicated, he clearly imagined himself to be either a temptress in a Bizet opera or to be the head of the German Luftwaffe in WW2.The consensus of his fellow drinkers was that when he was in that state, Alf didn't know whether he was Carmen or Goerring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankus Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Im up for working behind the bar as I do have prevoius experience , and as for being on the other side ...consider me an effin expert .... And if we are getting a barmaid ..this uniform should be mandatory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Now poor old andsome has got to make a public apology to Artist......... :lol: :lol: :lol:That'll be the day! :DGrovel grovel grovel. :D :D :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Grovel grovel grovel. :D :D :D :DAndsome - you are getting there but it just will not be enough - you gotta use the dreaded "S" word....and give her a bunch of flowers or chocolates.Take my word for it - I have a PhD in making amends to females. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 And if we are getting a barmaid ..this uniform should be mandatoryAbsolutely right, Tankus. You are my "Designer of the Year".Thos. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Grovel grovel grovel. :D :D :D :DAndsome - you are getting there but it just will not be enough - you gotta use the dreaded "S" word....and give her a bunch of flowers or chocolates.Take my word for it - I have a PhD in making amends to females.Ok ok, S word = oh S***I can only afford one flower.Im up for working behind the bar as I do have prevoius experience , and as for being on the other side ...consider me an effin expert .... And if we are getting a barmaid ..this uniform should be mandatory I take it that that uniform is for chilly days. :D What will they wear when the weather gets hot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Im up for working behind the bar as I do have prevoius experience , and as for being on the other side ...consider me an effin expert .... And if we are getting a barmaid ..this uniform should be mandatory Artist - please let me know what size to order for you.*****************************I am not normally one for telling tales - but I thought that pub customers might like to see the website in all its glory that Tankus browsesOgle here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Artist - please let me know what size to order for you.*****************************It'll have to be custom made 38 24 36 :D (I wish!)Is there a tv in our pub? Arsenal and Liverpool are playing this afternoon - better lay on a few sandwiches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 ...... - better lay on a few sandwiches. Is this another perversion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 How about this for the hot weather? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 To my inexperienced eye, the young lady (for that is what I presume it to be), in your photographic illustration, looks extremely uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 We now know that andsome has been browsing through the site tankus habituates.Perhaps he has a genuine reason - like a Christmas present for 'er indoors Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 I have managed to obtain a few barrels of a renowned beer called Tate’s, famous for its alcohol content - the strongest in the county. So strong that after drinking just one pint people had been known to forget how to find their way home. This was the origin of the expression “He who has a Tate’s is lost”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 We now know that andsome has been browsing through the site tankus habituates.Perhaps he has a genuine reason - like a Christmas present for 'er indoorsNever seen the site before, I followed the link above. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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