r4may Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 Tates must contain the same hormones because all of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.Could they drive before the 12 pints. ?? :P :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 Last evening this Hells Angel came into the bar - covered in studs and tattoos with his hair in a pony tail. He strutted up to Artist and said “Whose the bestest and most strongest bugger in the room”.Not one for trouble, Artist shrugged and said “You are”.The punk spit on the floor and then went nose to nose with the barman snarling “Who do you think is the bestest and toughest sod here”. The barman saw no point in lowering himself to his level and said “You are”.The Hells Angel - now on a roll - went belly to belly with old Ned at the bar, poked him forcibly on the shoulder and said “And who do you reckon is the biggest, roughest and strongest real man who could pee all over you lot”.Without hesitation old Ned grabbed the punk by the scruff of the neck and hurled him across the room, bouncing him off the wall. As the punk slid to the floor in a dishevelled heap, Ned followed up with a lightning kick in the groin then took out his willy and proceeded to give the punk a warm wash.The punk staggered to his feet and said “Christ man, just because you don’t know the answer, there’s no need to get so snotty” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 :P :D Let's hire Ned as a bouncer.........Who's going to clean up all that pee by the way??!!I suppose I'd better wash up the glasses. :( Can I change my hours? The smell in here at this hour is revolting! .....and it's not my turn to clean out the fireplace!! We need more staff - I can't do everything around here!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D4\/!d Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 ...and now someone's been scribbling on the toilet walls.1 1 was a race horse2 2 was 1 21 1 1 a race 1 day2 2 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 ...and now someone's been scribbling on the toilet walls.1 1 was a race horse2 2 was 1 21 1 1 a race 1 day2 2 1 1 2 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 ...and now someone's been scribbling on the toilet walls.1 1 was a race horse2 2 was 1 21 1 1 a race 1 day2 2 1 1 2 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Straightforward to me.Good one. :D Thos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rong Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 ...and now someone's been scribbling on the toilet walls.1 1 was a race horse2 2 was 1 21 1 1 a race 1 day2 2 1 1 2 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Straightforward to me.Good one. :D Thos.They do say you regress to childhood as you get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 They do say you regress to childhood as you get older.And they are probably right. "They" also say that schooldays are the best days of your life and that time spent reading lavatory walls is never wasted. Hence my understanding of D4\/!d @s joke above.Thos. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expertec Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????^^This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 will some-one please explain - I don't know whether to censor it or not.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rong Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 For the barmaid11 was a racehorse22 was one to11 won a race 1 day22 won 1 to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 I must be right fick - I have no idea what that graffiti is all about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 I am obviously not the only one who is puzzled, but then for a start, I have no interest in horse racing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 I just got it - but you have to use proper grammar and spelling for an explanation.1 1 was a race horse - equals "11 was a racehorse" 2 2 was 1 2 - equals "22 was one too"1 1 1 a race 1 day - equals "11 won a race one day"2 2 1 1 2 - equals "22 won one too"I bet that has made your day................el thicko......... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D4\/!d Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 One-one was a racehorseTwo-two was one tooOne-one won a race one dayTwo-two won one tooWell Dun, Alan..!! :lol: My word, I thought you lot would have seen that 1 B 4.Sorry to tax yer brains so. Time for a Tates I think... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 My word, I thought you lot would have seen that 1 B 4.andsome will now ask what 1 B 4 means - so brace yerself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 My word, I thought you lot would have seen that 1 B 4.andsome will now ask what 1 B 4 means - so brace yerself.My brain hurts, I'm going for a lye down in a darkened room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 My brain hurts, I'm going for a lye down in a darkened room.I think I'll join you........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 My brain hurts, I'm going for a lye down in a darkened room.I think I'll join you........... Fancy a threesome....? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandalph Posted November 25, 2006 Report Share Posted November 25, 2006 By, there are some filthy minds on this Forum. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie2 Posted November 26, 2006 Report Share Posted November 26, 2006 Now that Artist and Andsome and AlanHo have gone for a lie down... perhaps the rest of you might want something to do... I nipped down to the Stags Head last night and borrowed a couple of games Click here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted November 26, 2006 Report Share Posted November 26, 2006 My brain hurts, I'm going for a lye down in a darkened room.I think I'll join you........... WOW. I could not have hoped for such a treat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted November 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2006 Andsome wandered into the bar after a game of bowls and looked over the menu. After a few minutes, our barmaid Artist, asked him what he’d like. Andsome said, "I'd like a quickie". Artist, being a modest lass, got a bit flushed and said, That's not funny - just cuz I had a lie down with you the other day does not give you permission to be saucy. Now, what would you like to order?" He said, "I'd really like a quickie". So Artist slapped him hard and stormed off angrily. Thos, somewhat amused at overhearing the conversation, leant over and said to andsome, "Um, I think that's pronounced 'quiche'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted November 26, 2006 Report Share Posted November 26, 2006 Andsome wandered into the bar after a game of bowls and looked over the menu. After a few minutes, our barmaid Artist, asked him what he’d like. Andsome said, "I'd like a quickie". Artist, being a modest lass, got a bit flushed and said, That's not funny - just cuz I had a lie down with you the other day does not give you permission to be saucy. Now, what would you like to order?" He said, "I'd really like a quickie". So Artist slapped him hard and stormed off angrily. Thos, somewhat amused at overhearing the conversation, leant over and said to andsome, "Um, I think that's pronounced 'quiche'" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted November 26, 2006 Report Share Posted November 26, 2006 Beautifully angled to the thread.And REAL men don't eat quiche!Thos. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.