Watchful Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 Just popped in for a quick one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 Just popped in for a quick one I think you delight in "setting one up" for andsome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watchful Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 Not at all! he ain't having any drinks on me :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted February 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 A blonde came into the lounge and asked if we served coffeesWhen I told her that we served excellent coffees of all types - she produced a large Thermos bottle and asked"Is this large enough to hold six cups of coffee?" I examined the Thermos and confirmed it would easily hold 6 cups."Great!" sighed the blonde, with relief. "Give me two black, two with cream, and two decaf!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watchful Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 :lol: Glad I'm not a barmaid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 :lol: A blonde came into the lounge and asked if we served coffeesWhen I told her that we served excellent coffees of all types - she produced a large Thermos bottle and asked"Is this large enough to hold six cups of coffee?" I examined the Thermos and confirmed it would easily hold 6 cups."Great!" sighed the blonde, with relief. "Give me two black, two with cream, and two decaf!" :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 A blonde came into the lounge and asked if we served coffeesWhen I told her that we served excellent coffees of all types - she produced a large Thermos bottle and asked"Is this large enough to hold six cups of coffee?" I examined the Thermos and confirmed it would easily hold 6 cups."Great!" sighed the blonde, with relief. "Give me two black, two with cream, and two decaf!" :lol: :lol: I love that one!! It brought tears to my eyes. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 I love that one!! It brought tears to my eyes. :lol:No madam - that was due to our onion sauce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Keep your eye open for that chap from up the road.He came in last week and ordered a pint of bitter and paid for it. When he was presented with it he said, "Do you think you could squeeze a whiskey in there as well?"."Of course we can, sir,""Well fill it up beer then. I paid for a pint." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted March 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Since your favourite barmaid has been crocked with a poorly knee - I have been run ragged filling in for her. I eventually caved in and hired a temporary replacement who has turned out to be an absolute dream. All the guys are flabbergasted at her qualities and she inspired all our thoughts for today. She is missing only one thing - a beer belly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Since your favourite barmaid has been crocked with a poorly knee - I have been run ragged filling in for her. I eventually caved in and hired a temporary replacement who has turned out to be an absolute dream. All the guys are flabbergasted at her qualities and she inspired all our thoughts for today. She is missing only one thing - a beer belly.She has beer boobs instead. :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Since your favourite barmaid has been crocked with a poorly knee - I have been run ragged filling in for her. I eventually caved in and hired a temporary replacement who has turned out to be an absolute dream. All the guys are flabbergasted at her qualities and she inspired all our thoughts for today. She is missing only one thing - a beer belly.She has beer boobs instead. :lol: :lol:Brewer's droop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Since your favourite barmaid has been crocked with a poorly knee - I have been run ragged filling in for her. I eventually caved in and hired a temporary replacement who has turned out to be an absolute dream. All the guys are flabbergasted at her qualities and she inspired all our thoughts for today. She is missing only one thing - a beer belly.She has beer boobs instead. :lol: :lol: Brewer's droop? Or even BOOBY droop. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Since your favourite barmaid has been crocked with a poorly knee - I have been run ragged filling in for her. I eventually caved in and hired a temporary replacement who has turned out to be an absolute dream. All the guys are flabbergasted at her qualities and she inspired all our thoughts for today. She is missing only one thing - a beer belly.She has beer boobs instead. :lol: :lol: Brewer's droop? Or even BOOBY droop. :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted May 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Old farmer Giles was in the pub today boasting yet again that he is getting a high yield of prime quality milk from his herd of Jersey cows by playing them comedy tapes of Bernard Manning and Jasper Carrot. He says it makes the cows laugh out loud.Most of the people in the bar seem a bit sceptical - arguing that the herd has simply become the laughing stock of the community. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Old farmer Giles was in the pub today boasting yet again that he is getting a high yield of prime quality milk from his herd of Jersey cows by playing them comedy tapes of Bernard Manning and Jasper Carrot. He says it makes the cows laugh out loud.Most of the people in the bar seem a bit sceptical - arguing that the herd has simply become the laughing stock of the community.Where on earth do you dig these up Alan?Reminds me of the one where there was a report of a plane crashing onto a cemetery. Rescuers were said to report that they had found hundreds dead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted May 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 Anyone thinking of applying for the barman vacancy in the pub should note that I now only employ married men - singles are disqualified.This is because I prefer employees who are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut, and don't pout when I yell at them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted May 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Some of the conversations I overhear in the bar are unbelievable.Last night Paddy and Ned the village blacksmith were at the bar chatting when I heard Paddy ask Ned if he had any vacancies.Ned asked him "have you ever shoe'd a horse?""Not an ‘orse, no" said Paddy "but I once told a donkey to bugger off". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watchful Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Last night Paddy and Ned the village blacksmith were at the bar chatting when I heard Paddy ask Ned if he had any vacancies.Ned asked him "have you ever shoe'd a horse?""Not an ‘orse, no" said Paddy "but I once told a donkey to bugger off". :lol: :lol: I do like that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted September 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 Old Ned was sitting in the snug, sipping his ale, sucking on his (empty) pipe and recalling past times.He reckons that when he was born he was given the choice of a big todger or good memory and he can't for the life of him remember which he chose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted September 6, 2008 Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 :lol: :lol: Good to see you back in residence, Alan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted September 6, 2008 Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 Why has the price of a pint gone up so much? It's cheaper at my bowls club. I can still get a pint of bitter for £2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D4\/!d Posted September 6, 2008 Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 I can still get a pint of bitter for £2. I can still get a pint of bitter, but for £2.80 - £3.20. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted September 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 Why has the price of a pint gone up so much? It's cheaper at my bowls club. I can still get a pint of bitter for £2. Blame Severn Trent - it's the huge increase in the price of water and bitter is 99.999% water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.