Our own pub at last

[rong]

Here you go artist two for starters ;)

though I think the first one would be more profitable as everyone would buy two drinks at a time

[artist]

Hmmm - I dunno - I'll think about it!

[rong]

Hmmm - I dunno - I'll think about it!

You've probably just caused andsome to have a heart attack :0

[AlanHo]

though I think the first one would be more profitable as everyone would buy two drinks at a time

You are not allowing for the fact that we serve our beer in tankards with large handles.

Artist can easily carry two in one hand.

Sorry to spoil your fun............................. B)

[rong]

though I think the first one would be more profitable as everyone would buy two drinks at a time

You are not allowing for the fact that we serve our beer in tankards with large handles.

Artist can easily carry two in one hand.

Sorry to spoil your fun............................. B)

so order some with smaller handles and you will have the customers queuing up

[AlanHo]

Sorry old son - we are a traditional establishment and not trying to keep abreast of the times.

[andsome]

Hmmm - I dunno - I'll think about it!

You've probably just caused andsome to have a heart attack :0

Less chance of that now, I had a stent in my heart four weeks ago to improve blood flow. That will do nicely thanks.

[AlanHo]

The Black Country blokes are at it again. I heard one 'on 'em telling the following tale.....................

Aynuk: "Ower nipper's been expelled from school fer cheatin' in 'is exam".

Ayli: "That's a shame - am they sure 'e did wrong?"

Aynuk: "Well, the fust question sed 'when was the Magna Carta signed' and 'e put the same date as the chap next to 'im."

Ayli: "That dow prove nothin'."

Aynuk: "An' then the second question asked fer the names of any three Prime Ministers, an 'e put the same three as the chap next to 'im."

Ayli: "So? It could have been coincidence."

Aynuk: "Ar. But on the third question the chap next to 'im wrote 'Don't Know', and our kid put "Me Neither".

[MANEMAN]

andsome said: I had a stent in my heart four weeks ago to improve blood flow

Any sort of prognosis given to a likely time when the blood flow will actually start reaching your brain ?

Sorry andsome. You left yourself wide open to that one I'm afraid old pal. :lol: :lol:

Still luv ya !

Hope all goes well with your health mate.

John.

(Perhaps explains the Mahler thing folks. )

John.

[AlanHo]

andsome said: I had a stent in my heart four weeks ago to improve blood flow

Any sort of prognosis given to a likely time when the blood flow will actually start reaching your brain ?

I think you already know that andsome, like most men, has been given insuffient blood to inflate both his ego and other parts of his anatomy simultaneously.....

[andsome]

andsome said: I had a stent in my heart four weeks ago to improve blood flow

Any sort of prognosis given to a likely time when the blood flow will actually start reaching your brain ?

I think you already know that andsome, like most men, has been given insuffient blood to inflate both his ego and other parts of his anatomy simultaneously.....

It still works too.:lol:

[MANEMAN]

It still works too. :lol:

Animated .gif for the archives please. :P

[AlanHo]

Will this do...............

[MANEMAN]

Blimey. Little innit ? looks like a dog bone.

Mind you, - if it still works dont knock it.

[bludgard]

[artist]

Men!!

There's more to life you know..................

[rong]

Men!!

There's more to life you know..................

What

[AlanHo]

Men!!

There's more to life you know..................

It looks pretty lively to me.................. :lol:

[AlanHo]

Two rather gorgeous girls came into the lounge bar and I noticed that one of them kept glancing at me.

Fortunately I had got my hearings aids turned up on turbo boost and was able to hear her whisper to her friend "nine"

I was rather chuffed and said to our barmaid that I obviously hadn't lost my touch with the ladies - that gorgeous girl over there has just rated me nine out of ten.

She said "I don't want to spoil it for you - but when I served them drinks - they were speaking German"...................

[AlanHo]

Paddy and Mick came into the bar.

I heard Paddy say "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador .

"Bejasus" said Mick "You shouldn't be after doing dat - have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

[D4\/!d]

Overheard in the Victoria bar:

1903 Where had the kidney bean? To see the scarlet runner.

1903 When a young man and his best girl get into a swing, it is remarkable how they will mix up oscillation with osculation.

1903 Q: What does the child receive for free, the young man steal, and the old man buy? A. A kiss

[AlanHo]

One of our barmen let his curiosity get the better of him and he sent off a cheque for £25 in response to a spam Email offering him a guaranteed penis enlarger.

He was far from pleased when they sent him a cheap magifying glass.

[MANEMAN]

With Thanks to the brave efforts of Mr.Ho we are able to continue the historical timeline of the pub within a lounge that the members built with their own hands way back in the times when John-the Baptist was a lad.

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Good day to you one and all - " LOUNGIES & JOKEYS !"

As soon as we can pick up on the old paperwork relating to our social meeting area, we will try to link recent events with past history. I have been in contact with our librarian and historian of the premises Mr. Ho recently, and due to the fact of his failing eyesight, and that his insistence in the manner of indexing was to write in Mandarin, it may be almost impossible to form a complete chain of events.

The main lounge area and the "Snug" have now been painted out in water based Brilliant White with a sympathetic relief of pastel black in appropriate areas. The annexe to the lounge is now to be vacated by us and we will be back in our old home sometime within the next three weeks hopefully.

Due to the theft of furniture in the past, all tables and chairs now have metal plates welded to the bottom of the legs and have been securely bolted to the floor. The dart players area has now been moved out of the room altogether in accordance with Health and Safety, and of course to avoid any future re-enactment of the circumstances which led to the injury of Mrs. Accrington's left breast.

This is the first re-paint of the lounge and snug since the smoking ban came into force in the U.K. and the commitee are hoping that the lack of smoke coupled with the use of water based sheen paints will delay any "Yellowing", and therefore any decorating costs for quite sometime to come. The smoking ban is not an excuse for drug taking in the lounge, and it should be pointed out that any drugs purchased from our security people (Bouncers) are strictly for personal use, - and off of the premises.

Any matters arising from this ruling that are not to your liking, please contact Thumper Harris either personally or through our online Forum.

The twice weekly entertainment organised in the past by the ladies commitee has had to have a drastic rethink due mainly to the breakup of "The Bert Austin Five" a very popular trio in our area. Our best wishes go to Bert after his by-pass surgery, and of course not forgetting the ongoing problem with his piles. Thanks and good luck go also to the other four lads who along with Bert made up the trio.

The ladies are all up for dropping Charlie on Thursday nights, feeling that maybe age is affecting the way that he is able to manage his organ these days. He is a nice old guy and we do not wish to hurt his feelings. Perhaps some of you could think of a way to break the news to him tactfully that he is no longer required ?

Our new stage demands both new acts, and a new committee made up of both Ladies and Gentlemen. In that vein we have booked monthly "Tribute Bands" from now until December. The first being "The Genny Boodman Big Band" to appear in April (Dates and times to be published at a later date.)

I will endeavour to update you on our paradigm shifting refurbishments and thoughts as and when time allows.

I thank you one and all "Loungies". :D

"The Lounge Must Go on"

Deake Head. Lounge Hospitality Manager.

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A reply from Bludgard:

OK. I will chip in for some yellowing agent.... :lol:

What would you suggest as a loader for several bootable tools on a FDD, etc.? I like easy-peasy/click and go.

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Response from Maneman:

Quote

I like easy-peasy/click and go.

A Juke box will be temporarily installed in the interim period of us having no live stage acts. - Yes, this will be easy to use.

Quote

What would you suggest as a loader for several bootable tools.

Thumper Harris will do all of the loading. He is a big strong lad, and it would seem extravagant to employ any other method.

Regards,

Deake Head. LHM

[AlanHo]

Just when I was having an easy time with hardly any visitors and you go and wake things up with a bang.

However - I will take solace from the fact that it will only be a 5 minute wonder - and I will be able to resume my slumbers again.

Anyone for a pint of Tate's - don't forget - anyone who has a Tate's is lost.

[MANEMAN]

I dont think it will be a five minute wonder Alan.

I've been talking to Deake Head, Lounge Hospitality Manager (LHM) and he seems a fairly go-ahead sort of chap.

A reception desk area has been built just inside the main door before you reach the lounge now so that people can walk in off the street and apply for membership.

.

There has been talk of getting a translator to man reception because so many people are now coming in and wanting to speak English. ( It used to be such a nice neighbourhood around here until all the British started buying up properties again in the area) Ah well ! Musn't have a racist attitude towards the re-integration of whites into the area I suppose. :( - Live, and let live eah?

We are looking forward to Deake's updates.

John.