AlanHo Posted February 3, 2007 Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The results of this in-depth epidemiological study verifies and validates the causal link between drunken parties and intellectual performance. It also explains why, a few short years after getting married, most men cannot keep up with the performance of the young, single studs. Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their single years. So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge we should not shelter in our homes. Get back into the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Be all that you can be. See you at the Drag 'N Drop Inn later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted February 3, 2007 Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 If you could just draw a couple of graphs, and get a photograph of some bird with a mouthful of teeth, you have the basis of a scientific advert that most of the breweries would give their eye teeth for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted February 3, 2007 Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 I will enjoy my G & T's and red wine even more knowing that I am improving my mental capacity all the time I drink.Thos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 I enjoy a glass or two of wine and also a nice drop of Midlands bitter. This must be why I am so intelligent as well as good looking. :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted February 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 If you could just draw a couple of graphs, and get a photograph of some birds with a mouthful of teeth, you have the basis of a scientific advert that most of the breweries would give their eye teeth for.Is this the sort of picture you had in mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 If you could just draw a couple of graphs, and get a photograph of some birds with a mouthful of teeth, you have the basis of a scientific advert that most of the breweries would give their eye teeth for.Is this the sort of picture you had in mindLike it. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 Is this the sort of picture you had in mindWhere did you get that from? It looks like an Essex girls hen night. Or the centre fold from Vogue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deuces wild Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 I enjoy a glass or two of wine and also a nice drop of Midlands bitter. This must be why I am so intelligent as well as good looking. :D :DInsert the words "think I" in between the bold "I" and "am" and you have it right! I bet you think so even more after each glass. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted February 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 Sometime when you're boasting and bragging.Sometime when your ego's is in bloom.Sometime when you take it for grantedYou're the 'andsomest bloke in the room.Sometime when you feel that you're leavingWould leave an unfillable holeJust follow these simple instructionsAnd see how they humble your soulTake a bucket and fill it with water.Put your hands in it up to your wristsPull them out - and the hole that's remainingIs a measure of how much you're missed.You may stir all you please when you enter!You may splash up the water galore!But stop - and you'll find in a minuteThat it looks just the same as before. The moral of this is quite simpleDo just the best you canBe proud of yourself but, remember,"There is no Indispensable Man" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 Sometime when you're boasting and bragging.Sometime when your ego's is in bloom.Sometime when you take it for grantedYou're the 'andsomest bloke in the room.Sometime when you feel that you're leavingWould leave an unfillable holeJust follow these simple instructionsAnd see how they humble your soulTake a bucket and fill it with water.Put your hands in it up to your wristsPull them out - and the hole that's remainingIs a measure of how much you're missed.You may stir all you please when you enter!You may splash up the water galore!But stop - and you'll find in a minuteThat it looks just the same as before. The moral of this is quite simpleDo just the best you canBe proud of yourself but, remember,"There is no Indispensable Man"Great.That is a thought for the century.Thos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie2 Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 Love it :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankus Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 arf ,funny , but is the bucket half full , or half empty ...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 "There is no Indispensable Man"Ohhh, how often I have said this to my colleagues during my working days!!!I love your poetry Alan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted February 5, 2007 Report Share Posted February 5, 2007 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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