AlanHo Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 I received an Email today from a voluptuous and lonely Russian immigrant who is seeking romantic company. She has obviously been able to get my personal details and Email address - so has some impressive talents. Her photo is very striking.Despite these talents, she is seemingly unaware that The bank of Scotland, MBNA, Barclays, Pay Pal and American Express are all about to close down my accounts unless I submit my security details into their new security systems. I do not have accounts with these organisations and will have to open one in order to have an account number to log on to. I hope she will not lose interest when she finds out I have limited funds.She may of course have heard that a Nigerian banker has chosen me to help him transfer 7 million dollars from an account in Lagos in return for a 25% share. He wants me to send him a few hundred pounds expenses to get the project moving - perhaps one of the new banks I am about to open an account with will assist in this regard. I that hope she is not just after my money - I don't want to fall victim to a young gold digger.Perhaps she is aware that I have won a free holiday for two in a competition I had no idea I had entered - to any destination of my choice. All I have to do is forward the airport tax, fuel surcharge and admin fee and they will sent me my tickets. Perhaps she sees this as a free trip back home for a dirty week-end with me.I have no doubt that other windfalls await me in tomorrows inbox.What a dilemma......hmmmm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 And what are you smoking these days. I'm on Condor Ready Rubbed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted August 10, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Condors are a protected species - no wonder you are always running. Why not change to an alternative bird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deuces wild Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 I received an Email today from a voluptuous and lonely Russian immigrant who is seeking romantic company. She has obviously been able to get my personal details and Email address - so has some impressive talents. Her photo is very striking.Why is Artist bothering you like that? :P ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandalph Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Her name wouldn't be Helga by any chance would it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted August 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Her name wouldn't be Helga by any chance would it. Oh Gawd.....I hope you aren't the jealous kind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thos Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 You are obviously a very popular fellow. Me, even Readers Digest, don't include me in their list of winners.Thos. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 We usually get this sort of offer by snail mail, or even as leaflets in Sky magazine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandalph Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Her name wouldn't be Helga by any chance would it. Oh Gawd.....I hope you aren't the jealous kindDefinitely not Alan. It's just that I have been getting a lot of e-mails from a Russian called Helga whom states " I love you all time". I just thought it may be the same person. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deuces wild Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Her name wouldn't be Helga by any chance would it. Oh Gawd.....I hope you aren't the jealous kindDefinitely not Alan. It's just that I have been getting a lot of e-mails from a Russian called Helga whom states " I love you all time". I just thought it may be the same person. :lol: Didn't andsome one say his real name is Helga and that he was born in Russia? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandalph Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Didn't andsome one say his real name is Helga and that he was born in Russia? :lol:The e-mails I have been getting have had a photo attached. She looks to be about 20 tonnes and looks like a Tank making factory. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted August 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 In Russia they are melting down old tanks to make the strong wire needed for the supports in Russian Wonderbraski.The project is called tanks for the mammaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Brilliant Alan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 In Russia they are melting down old tanks to make the strong wire needed for the supports in Russian Wonderbraski.The project is called tanks for the mammaries.Like it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 In Russia they are melting down old tanks to make the strong wire needed for the supports in Russian Wonderbraski.The project is called tanks for the mammaries.That was bound to bring out a few titters. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watchful Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Titter ye not! Who said that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Frankie Howerd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 I like big titters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankus Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 we ..oh ... so know ...! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deuces wild Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 I like big tittersHere you go: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandalph Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 I like big tittersHere you go:She wouldn't have a problem if she fell overboard would she. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watchful Posted August 17, 2006 Report Share Posted August 17, 2006 Poor, misguided woman. The surgeon who did that ought to be shot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted August 17, 2006 Report Share Posted August 17, 2006 I like big tittersHere you go:Not THAT big, that's absolutely gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jason.b.c Posted August 17, 2006 Report Share Posted August 17, 2006 Oh now andsome , Aren't you being just a little pre-judgemental..???Hey think of it like this , If the two of you ever go on a big fancy vacation cruise ship and ship were to ever sink your girlfriend would also double as a floatation device...... :D :lol: Hell for that matter you wouldn't need those pesky and expencive airbags in your car anymore..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted August 17, 2006 Report Share Posted August 17, 2006 You could suffocate if you got buried in that lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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