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Our own pub at last


AlanHo
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Not a bad effort for one day in building a virtual pub from scratch.

We have so far created a timber framed, slate roofed building alongside a river. We have a nice patio with patio heaters and cheap plastic chairs pending the arrival of some genuine sapins wooden furniture.

The bar has a resident cat and a red setter snoozing in front of an inglenook log burning fireplace when it is not pushed aside by a hungry old wrinkly anxious to toast his bread or backside.

The dartboard is inflatable - at which you throw rubber sucker tipped darts in accordance with the latest Brussels 'elf 'n safety regulations. There is a free supply of snuff and some spitoons which have been there so long they resemble the botanical gardens.

Artist is behind the bar - when she is not slaving in the kitchen preparing yorkshire puddings, sausages, scotch eggs etc - fending off the attention being given to her by certain customers attracted by her golden hair and tight low cut jumper. She is dispensing proper real ales to the choosy and commercial hop water to the thirsty.

We are fortunate in having pops as a back up and doug as the bookies runner.

You can close the pub..... just let me visit the barmaid.

Thos. :D

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You can close the pub..... just let me visit the barmaid.

Thos. :D

Come on Thos - don't be a spoil sport. Why close the pub just because you fancy the barmaid?. The pub has only just been opened and has attracted more postings in a few hours than most other threads - so it is clearly welcomed and has served to encourage more chat on the forum. Which of course, was the intention.

You better be careful - the landlord might chuck you out -and not for wearing a toupee either.

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Sorry. I didn't mean close the subject. As I said earlier I thought it is a good thread. It was merely that your description of the barmaid transcended any other thoughts about the other facilities on offer.

So can I please be in your darts team and I will be the pub's nomination for the pub's cricket team, if you wish.

Thos. :)

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I wouldn't like to see it develop into a full blown restaurant, but I would like to see some simple good grub. A decent range of sandwiches for a start. How about avoiding the damned silly ploughman's lunches that so many pubs offer? I ask you, how many ploughmen would take an assortment of three or so cheeses with him, plus a dollop of Branston pickle, a couple of lettuce leaves, a tomato and a portion of coleslaw? Let's get back to what every decent pub used to offer but is never seen these days. A decent sized chunk of Cheddar cheese, plus a good sized hunk of crusty bread, a pat of butter and a good helping of Spanish onion.

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I wouldn't like to see it develop into a full blown restaurant, but I would like to see some simple good grub. A decent range of sandwiches for a start. How about avoiding the damned silly ploughman's lunches that so many pubs offer? I ask you, how many ploughmen would take an assortment of three or so cheeses with him, plus a dollop of Branston pickle, a couple of lettuce leaves, a tomato and a portion of coleslaw? Let's get back to what every decent pub used to offer but is never seen these days. A decent sized chunk of Cheddar cheese, plus a good sized hunk of crusty bread, a pat of butter and a good helping of Spanish onion.

You need to have a chat with Artist - she kindly volunteered to do the catering and barkeeping. Actually - it is a long time since I saw a ploughmans lunch on offer in a pub. Pub grub today tends to be more "sophisticated" nowadays with various ethnic offerings as well as steak and ale pie, fish & chips etc. For all I know, current legislation may make it obligatory to cater for all tastes in case we get accused of racial bias. Which reminds me - we need to stock some non alcoholic beer and fruit juices.

I have got a spare set of dominoes I can donate - and a crib board - but I don't want any fighting over them.

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And what are we going to call our virtual pub?

Surfers Paradise? Digital Dreams? Virtual Reality?

Surfers Retreat, Windows Arms, Craig's Head, Troubles Over, The Chatterbox......???

Someone will come up with a suitable pun - sorry - PUB name.

By the way Nellie - you gonna volunteer to get rid of the nasties that try to get in...?

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Glasses - definitely no plastic - straight preferred.

So you don't like the patterned pint glasses with handles then...?

I like the clear glasses that increase in diameter a little about half way up. I find them easier to hold because the straight ones can slip through your hands.

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Glasses - definitely no plastic - straight preferred.

So you don't like the patterned pint glasses with handles then...?

I like the clear glasses that increase in diameter a little about half way up. I find them easier to hold because the straight ones can slip through your hands.

We call those straight!

Oh! and another thing, beer mats, we could have Doug's Great North Run banner/flag/logo on them

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Glasses ... straight preferred.

Straights are called Conical

... the patterned pint glasses with handles

These are dimpled jugs

I like the clear glasses that increase in diameter a little about half way up. I find them easier to hold because the straight ones can slip through your hands.

and these are called Tulips

cheers..!

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