doug Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 How did they cut their toenails before scissors came along? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 Grindstones :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 They went to an ancient nail bar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 An interesting matter, which puzzled me until I did some research into it. I discovered that they didn't, and it was due to this that the stone age people died out.Some times they would trip up over their own toe nails, fall over and get a nasty graze on knee. This was a problem because they were entirely ignorant of quaternary ammonium compounds, and even trichlorophenyls would not be on the horizon for millennia . So many died of simple blood poisoning caused by pterodactyl turds. Others with better balance were able to survive longer but thet usually ended up tripping up over their own nails and, being totally unable to regain a vertical position, eventually died of starvation. So it was with some relief that the bronze age people came along and invented bronze. They made it, but for quite a few weeks they did not know what they could use it for. Then one day Ugg said that he thought a pair of scissors would be a good thing to make. So they did just that. It only took another couple of centuries before someone thought up a use for them. .....and the rest, as they say, is history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 An interesting matter, which puzzled me until I did some research into it. I discovered that they didn't, and it was due to this that the stone age people died out.Some times they would trip up over their own toe nails, fall over and get a nasty graze on knee. This was a problem because they were entirely ignorant of quaternary ammonium compounds, and even trichlorophenyls would not be on the horizon for millennia . So many died of simple blood poisoning caused by pterodactyl turds. Others with better balance were able to survive longer but thet usually ended up tripping up over their own nails and, being totally unable to regain a vertical position, eventually died of starvation. So it was with some relief that the bronze age people came along and invented bronze. They made it, but for quite a few weeks they did not know what they could use it for. Then one day Ugg said that he thought a pair of scissors would be a good thing to make. So they did just that. It only took another couple of centuries before someone thought up a use for them. .....and the rest, as they say, is history.Your research is a wonderful advert for the power of the internet and Google in particular.Had ancient mankind directed their talents to inventing the internet much sooner in history - much nail biting, head scratching and misery could have been avoided. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug Posted July 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Thanks for the profound insight, it's really been bugging me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 An interesting matter, which puzzled me until I did some research into it. I discovered that they didn't, and it was due to this that the stone age people died out.Some times they would trip up over their own toe nails, fall over and get a nasty graze on knee. This was a problem because they were entirely ignorant of quaternary ammonium compounds, and even trichlorophenyls would not be on the horizon for millennia . So many died of simple blood poisoning caused by pterodactyl turds. Others with better balance were able to survive longer but thet usually ended up tripping up over their own nails and, being totally unable to regain a vertical position, eventually died of starvation. So it was with some relief that the bronze age people came along and invented bronze. They made it, but for quite a few weeks they did not know what they could use it for. Then one day Ugg said that he thought a pair of scissors would be a good thing to make. So they did just that. It only took another couple of centuries before someone thought up a use for them. .....and the rest, as they say, is history.This is blatantly untrue. Pterodactyls had died out before mankind was invented. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 This is blatantly untrue. Pterodactyls had died out before mankind was invented. :DYes they did. However when they died they did not take their turds with them. Some turds can hang about for a years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 This is blatantly untrue. Pterodactyls had died out before mankind was invented. :DYes they did. However when they died they did not take their turds with them. Some turds can hang about for yearsQuite true - as Gordon and his cronies are proving. Perhaps Ccleaner would help................................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belatucadrus Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Some turds can hang about for a years.Coprolites to you too ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Thanks for the profound insight, it's really been bugging me.No problem, doug. I did quite a bit of research into this matter several years ago. The bronze age people were not always bronze age people. For a long time they were a people without a name at all and this made them feel very inferior. Then one day one of them, sadly it is not recorded just who, sat up and said,"Let's be bronze age people !", although those may not be his exact words.They all agreed with one mighty accord, and so that is what they became. They had no idea what bronze was, but that did not matter because there was no clever dick there to say they were wrong, and they could not be bronze age people.After a few years had passed one of their number, Phud, felt a mystical urge to travel, and so organised an expedition to the South Yorkshire/Nottinghamshire/Derbyshire area. Again details are sketchy because Bartholamew (that is how it was spelled then) had not got started on his mapping adventure.The found lots of coal and lots of iron ore and the leader of the group, Phud, said that he thought this could be just the stuff they needed to create stuff they could call bronze, after themselves. So he despatched search parties to look for a wild, or even just feral, Bessemer converter. Of course they did not find one, it was the closed season and they had all gone to ground. So they just abandoned the project. Which was probably a blessing in disguise because had they found one it would have been totally useless for their purpose, but they were not to know that.Some weeks later Mrs Phud left a tin spoon in the copper frying pan, whilst she went out to strain the cat. It was a big strong cat, and it at times was quite wilful, and it took her a long time to get a full nelson on it (though they did not call it that). When she returned the pan had melted, because she had not turned the heat down, and the spoon had gone with it, as had the entire hut.Next morning, whilst she was raking out the ashes of the family hut, she found a lump of strange metal and so Mrs Phud was proclaimed the saviour of the bronze age people, because she had created something to which they could give their name. It took another three centuries before the next step was taken. That step was when it was discovered that it was not necessary to shape the copper into a pan, nor the tin into a spoon. The next step was when they found just an ordinary log fire was just as efficacious as firing a hut.And the rest, as they say ....is history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Some turds can hang about for a years.Coprolites to you too !That is extremely interesting. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Coprolites to you too !I wish I had seen this as, or before writing the above nonsense, I could have had the the Phud's hut illuminated by copprolights and the fusing of one could have caused the fire, instead of Mrs Phud having to struggle with that damned cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanHo Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 It was surely inevitable that the animal responsible for a 60 cm coprolite would become ex-stinked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 It was surely inevitable that the animal responsible for a 60 cm coprolite would become ex-stinked. A 60 watt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandalph Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 It was surely inevitable that the animal responsible for a 60 cm coprolite would become ex-stinked. A 60 watt?This is a bright remark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andsome Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Coprolites to you too !I wish I had seen this as, or before writing the above nonsense, I could have had the the Phud's hut illuminated by copprolights and the fusing of one could have caused the fire, instead of Mrs Phud having to struggle with that damned cat.I HATE cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catgate Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 I HATE cats. I wish you had mentioned it earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artist Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Gosh - I learn SO much here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hb_Kai Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Gosh - I learn SO much here. I agree. I particularly liked that thread that was advertising fiber optic broadband lines which then turned in to an encyclopedia of information but that got closed :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deuces wild Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 They bit them! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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